This Dream Should Die

Everyone has dreams. Nah, I am not talking about those ‘aspiring’ dreams or those ‘BIG’ dreams. I am just referring to the dreams that we see when we are lost to the world, ie when we are sleeping.

Now, I sleep very soundly and I believe I don’t dream much. Even, if I do dream, most of the time they are just jumbled thoughts which do not make any sense and at other times, I don’t remember them at all.

But this one dream, which I saw a few months back, scares me, moves me, whenever I think about it, still!

I saw in my dream that I was a ghost, a la Bhootnath or Ghost. I don’t know how I had died. But here I was present as a ghost dressed in white. No, I don’t remember that part!

And where would I be spending my whole time as a ghost??
Of course, in my very own home. I spent all my waking hours (I guess, ghosts never sleep) with my baby and hubby… guarding them, protecting them, and helping them in my own ghostly way. If, KG couldn’t find his socks, I would guide him where it was actually kept. If Aaryan had forgotten to put his Maths notebook in the school bag, I’d put it in his bag. If he needed to be told about something, it would be transferred into his thoughts (I guess, everything is possible in a dream), so that he would act accordingly.

And then one night, I saw my baby crying softly as he lay on his bed. He missed me. I knew that. I tried putting my arms around him, to hug him, console him, ward off his pain and anguish… and  I realize that I couldn’t hug him, meaning I COULDN’T HUG HIM!! He couldn’t feel me and was oblivious to my presence or efforts. It hurt me like hell to know that my baby was missing me and I could lessen his hurt, pain or distress. And I cried very very bitterly at that.

And this made me wide awake and I saw that I had tears in my eyes. It shook me to the core.

I don’t want this dream to ever come true. Not that I am scared of my death. Death is inevitable and it shall come sooner or later. But what I don’t want to ever come true is a child growing up without his mother. This thought scares me a lot and moistens my eyes too, still.

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20 thoughts on “This Dream Should Die

  1. Aww this is so bad.. I pray that day never comes in anyone’s life..

    God Bless you di and May you live longer n healthier and may you keep guiding your family like you always do.. 🙂

  2. Unpleasant dreams as such comes to everybody.
    And I guess the experts would say that dreams are what we have in our subconscious .
    Perhaps you could try to ward off thinking about the unpleasant while awake.
    In any case do not take such dreams seriously forget about them and get along!!!

  3. Oh dont think about it. You tend to keep it alive in the subconscious mind by thinking. So ward it away. Its a worse nightmare. Think something good while sleeping; hope it doesnt recur

  4. I understand it totally, and i guess it does shake you up, the questions what will i do, where will i go, what will our kids do , how will you take care of them or how will you protect them …

    LIFE that is
    Dreams have different meaning alotgether i dont beleive in them that much.. but usually i guess it the last thing you have in mind when you go to sleep.. so probably you were having fun with the kids and enjoying when you fell asleep and the dream showed you the opposite of what iF…

    But i do beleive that our parents or our wellwishers are around us when they pass away .. trying to help us maybe ..

    and as such dreams dont come true as they say .. thats why they are dreams .. so looking at it in a positive way its a good .. cause this will never happen in real life so
    take a deep breath take it out of your mind.. and relaxxxxxxxxxxxx

  5. I can so understand !! Sometimes,dreams like these scare you to the core and you can’t even forget them. But then they are just dreams!! So relax and hope you have a happy dream tonight.

  6. I’ve woken up to a dream with moist eyes….you said you’re not scared and that’s key. Keep smiling, think of the lighter things in life in fact this morning i wrote a post titled ‘smile’ you can check it out. May be it’ll make you 🙂

  7. Oops, Shilpa! You know that is one of my major fears around death too…that I won’t be there for her …but you know…I promised…am not gonna die AT ALL!!

    I swear I had not read this post before, and how much it is similar to what I was thinking today…I even discussed with a friend and only after that I wrote the post !! Thanks for leading me here 🙂 *hugs*
    Rainbow Hues recently posted…When I Die!My Profile

    • May that promise stays that way, Kajal. Touchwood.
      I have a tough time even reading this post… so you can imagine, its impact when I think about it! 😐
      Hugs to you too… 🙂

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