This Dream Should Die
Everyone has dreams. Nah, I am not talking about those ‘aspiring’ dreams or those ‘BIG’ dreams. I am just referring to the dreams that we see when we are lost to the world, ie when we are sleeping.
Now, I sleep very soundly and I believe I don’t dream much. Even, if I do dream, most of the time they are just jumbled thoughts which do not make any sense and at other times, I don’t remember them at all.
But this one dream, which I saw a few months back, scares me, moves me, whenever I think about it, still!
And where would I be spending my whole time as a ghost??
Of course, in my very own home. I spent all my
waking hours (I guess, ghosts never sleep) with my baby and hubby… guarding them, protecting them, and helping them in my own ghostly way. If, KG couldn’t find his socks, I would guide him where it was actually kept. If Aaryan had forgotten to put his Maths notebook in the school bag, I’d put it in his bag. If he needed to be told about something, it would be transferred into his thoughts (I guess, everything is possible in a dream), so that he would act accordingly.
And then one night, I saw my baby crying softly as he lay on his bed. He missed me. I knew that. I tried putting my arms around him, to hug him, console him, ward off his pain and anguish… and I realize that I couldn’t hug him, meaning I COULDN’T HUG HIM!! He couldn’t feel me and was oblivious to my presence or efforts. It hurt me like hell to know that my baby was missing me and I could lessen his hurt, pain or distress. And I cried very very bitterly at that.
And this made me wide awake and I saw that I had tears in my eyes. It shook me to the core.
I don’t want this dream to ever come true. Not that I am scared of my death. Death is inevitable and it shall come sooner or later. But what I don’t want to ever come true is a child growing up without his mother. This thought scares me a lot and moistens my eyes too, still.