Is It Right??

A good friend hosted a small party for the moms and kids yesterday, at her home. We were a group of 7 mothers and 9 kids. Following is the age profile of the children: (Yeah, it is important to know that!)

Age Group
No. of Children
8-9 year old
5-6 year old
3-4 year old
15 months old
After the initial chatter, soon it was time to gorge on the goodies. A wide array of delicacies were beautifully laid on the dining table. Some kids helped themselves while for the younger ones, the honours were done by their moms. Now, till here, everything was as smooth as butter. Then the cacophony started.

A 3 yr old child insisted on watching his favourite cartoon while eating, so his wish was granted. He sat in front of the TV, on the bed and was more engrossed in watching his cartoons play cat and mouse than eating and in the process with that fascinating and glazed look on this face, with eyes focussed on the TV, he spilled the cold drink on the bed!!

In another room, the 5 yr old child wanted to eat on the bunk bed. His wish was granted too. So, his plate was kept on the bed by the mom while the kid climbed up the stairs of the bunk bed. Soon he had climbed the Mt. Everest and with a big smile rested his laurels literally on the plate. He not only smeared his clothes with ketchup and mashed pizza but also the Ben-10 bedcover!

Then the much smaller kids insisted on drinking the cold drinks, so the moms readily gave their glasses to them. It was a sight, with some kids precariously holding the huge glasses and some spilling the cold drink on the floor or on them. And as expected a glass was broken!

Then it was to time to sit and have tea and chatter some more, but the kids would not allow you to do so. Somebody wanted to open the return gift, somebody wanted to compare his gift with the other child and yet another one yelling to get the toy which the other one had and soon the drawing room transformed into a fish market.

A child got a huge metallic car from the kid’s room and converted the centre table as his road. The hostess sweetly told the child to play with the car on the floor and not on the glass table. As children normally do, he continued to do so. Then, a second mild warning from the hostess and still there was no response from the child. And then I went up to the child, took the car from him and showed him how it moved so smoothly on the floor and even showed him another track on the carpet. And next moment he was happily driving his car on the floor.

And when the party was over, the entire house looked liked a hurricane had hit it. The cushions were at all impossible places, bits of gift wrapping paper strewn all over, toys from the kid’s room lay scattered all over, and some were even in the kitchen, plates with leftover food, glasses at precarious places, spilt water and cold drink, bits of food here and there…

I don’t know but I found all this a bit unnerving. All this made me wonder…

Why did these ‘New’ Moms let their children create all this havoc?? Mind you, all these Moms are well educated modern women! (Incidentally, they don’t read my blog!!)

I know, children are children and they will do all this, that is whine, argue, spill, play, waste, throw tantrum, shout, cry, cling… and much more!
But as mothers, at a party…

  • Shouldn’t they be ensuring that the child is consoled or calmed? Continuing to talk with friends while the child is whining might be ok for the mother but it gets on others people’s nerves.
  • Shouldn’t they be by their child’s side while he/she is eating? As it is, now-a-days, very few children eat food without parental supervision. Such a huge amount of food was wasted as the kids wanted everything on their plate. The child could have been asked to finish one dish at a time and then asked to take the second one or given smaller portions.
  • Should they be allowing 3-4 year olds to have cold drinks? Even if they do, then at least ask for a plastic or a steel glass. Imagine the mess of a spilled cold drink and a broken glass!
  • Shouldn’t they be stopping the child from damaging anything, anywhere? In fact, they should be doing that even before the hostess or anybody spells it out. It’s plain common sense.
  • Shouldn’t they be stopping their kids from jumping on the sofas with shoes on? As it is both the acts (of jumping and that too with shoes) are appalling.

I know, parties are meant to relax and unwind, but at the cost of giving ulcers or frowns to the hostess?

It was a party which left a bad taste in mouth despite the yummy food. I don’t know if I am over reacting because I am a mother of a grown up child (8.5 yrs old) and all these things are passé for me. I am not saying that my child was an epitome of all virtues when he was a small kid. Even he did all these unwarranted things, but I remember diverting him to something else or involving him in some play, clearly explaining the acceptable / unacceptable things etc. I remember, when Aaryan was a small baby, I always cleared the toys whenever we went to a friend’s place and now that Aaryan is a big boy, he clears his friend’s room after their play, before leaving.

I am sure; my friend will never ever host a party at home with small kids! And if I am sensible, I’ll take the cue too!

What is your take on this?? Is It Right??