Subsequent conversation, that we had, reads like this….
Me: Where does your husband work?
She : He doesn’t work.
Me : Is he out of job and needs a job?
She : No, he doesn’t want to work.
Me : What does he do then?
She : He sits at home and smokes some pot along with a pack of beedi a day and does nothing at all.
Me : Why?
She : He wants to go back to my village. And I don’t want to go. He has severed ties with his own family. He will be a burden on my parents and brothers, so I don’t want to go back to my village. As it is, we will have to pay the rent etc there, which we are anyways paying here too and most importantly, there would be limited work opportunities for me. And knowing him, I have my doubts if he would work in the village too. So, I am supporting him and the kids.
Me : Doesn’t he realise his responsibility towards the kids and you?
She : Whenever I have tried to talk to him about this, his response has been physical abuse. I have tried a lot and now I don’t try any further. I work and earn for my kids. It doesn’t bother me now,
She said it with a smile. There was no pain, no frustration, no anger or bitterness at the life’s trials and tribulations thrown her way!
I could see that she was at peace with this difficult situation.
How could she achieve this?? Didn’t this hurt and betrayal led to pain, anger, holding grudges, resentment, negative feelings… Didn’t these negative feelings threaten to shatter her whole being??
But here, I see a very cheerful and a positive woman.
I believe, she must have forgiven and forgotten. I know, it is easier said than done. But it’s true that forgiving, not only heals you emotionally and but also makes you strong mentally.
Or she must have accepted her situation and made peace with it. Rather than going through the daily turmoil or getting worked up or having arguments with her non-supporting husband, she has come to terms with the hard facts of her life and directed herself in something positive and is trying to give a better life to her kids.
But accepting a situation and forgiving and forgetting, does that mean she doesn’t care anymore. I guess, she must, but she has learnt that the situation will no longer pull her down or drain her energies.
I believe she has learnt to Move On…
I believe she has learnt to Let Go…