When The Husband Cooks…

On a Wednesday…cooltext468162920
When the master of the home has a passion for cooking, this is what happens…

    1. Gourmet Meal : Yes, this is what is being cooked all the time, when he is in the kitchen! Trying out newer recipes with new ingredients is the order of the day. Even a simple dal would be cooked differently and would be served with a wonderful presentation. ‘You first eat with your eyes’, that’s his mantra. Right from starters to main course, veg and non-veg, and even the desserts, are cooked with élan and ease!
    2. The Compliments: You bask in the glory of the compliments from everyone. The most common ones being, “Ah! You are so lucky!”, “I am jealous of you”, “You have to share this recipe with me”…Needless to say that these come from the women friends.
    3. Then the Censure Followed by Suggestions: Once they are done with oohing and aahing at the look and taste of the food, the women turn to their husbands, “Seekho, kuchh tum bhi, KG se”, (Learn something from KG!). Unlike women who would be ‘inspired’ if they learn that a friend is going for that aerobic class, the men simply smile and move to get another helping or say, “So, what are you cooking next?” They have no aspirations to even learn how to boil water!  And then they come up with suggestions like “You must open a restaurant or start a dhabha!” Why don’t you go for Master Chef contest!!
    4. No Worry, No Tension : While many husbands have to check with their wives in case they decide to have friends over for lunch or dinner. But at our place having friends for lunch or dinner even without any notice is NEVER a problem. Reason, the husband cooks and he can cook with passion even after a hard day at work. Cooking is therapeutic for him and he loves having friends at our place. Do I have any reason to complain?!
    5. “Your Wish is My Command” : The child says, he wants to have chicken and chicken shall be cooked even if the meal is ready. You think out aloud, “Feel like having something sweet”, off he goes into the kitchen to make a shahi tukda or the halwa or the sewanyiaan in a jiffy. It does not stop here… I had to go out for a few hours for some work and KG took the responsibility of cooking. Nothing new here… the newness was he made a chicken dish, which the child likes, a mutton dish which he loves and a vegetable which I relish… 3 dishes for the 3 of us!! How would a woman react on seeing this??

  • Katrina, Sandy, Olga… in the Kitchen: Ok, while the magic is created with food and spices in the cooking vessel, rest of the kitchen looks like it has been hit by Katrina and her friends, I mean the hurricane and not what you thought. The spice jars would be lying all around the place and never at their original shelf and some would lie at precarious places and most of the times spill ‘themselves’ too, the kitchen sink (which is pretty large) would be overflowing with vessels, the floor would have its share of food too, all the kitchen napkins would be used and would have stains that would not vanish even with Vanish!….
  • Take a Deep Breath?? This sight of the kitchen can leave any cleanliness freak woman teeth gritting hair tugging raving mad. You think, I am exaggerating… You have to read this to believe this. A month ago, I was out of home for 3 days for my workshops. When I returned back, the maid who cleans the dishes told me that she had scolded the cook in my absence. She said she asked the cook in not a pleasant tone, “Why did you take leave when Madam is not at home? Sir cooked the food and what a mess he had created in the kitchen… it took me 2 hours to clean the kitchen!” Know what I mean, now?!
  • Zen is the Way… And after doing this for a long time, that is sharpening of the teeth and self inflicted alopecia, you realize that doing the above is not the solution. Like everything else in life, you learn after a while…. you learn to Let Go and find solace in the words of Emma Goldman. She said, the motto should not be : forgive one another; rather, understand one another! So, you understand, why the husband can’t cook in small vessels, why he can’t keep the jars at their place, why he can’t cook small quantities…. and when you understand that peace enters your mind and body and you learn to smile even at the sight of a hurricane hit kitchen.
  • What is on Our Mind… All the Time?: When you are out for shopping, what is it that you eye the most… clothes, footwear, books, home decor items…. Nah! that’s not us! What we  shop with glee is spices and ingredients, pots and pans, cookery books and CDs …   so much so that a few months ago, while I was returning back from a workshop with the team and we spotted a small outlet in a village near Nanital. We enterd the shop and found to our utter amazement that this shop sold goods to Fab India. The team went crazy shopping for kurtis and tops which were at throwaway prices when compared to Fab India. I love shopping clothes from Fab India, so this was a god sent opportunity to shop what I loved at such unbelievable prices!  And guess what I shopped… Spices and herbs for the husband!
  • Excellence is a Habit… Since the husband is a fine chef, every dish that you cook has to be great all the times and this can be quite daunting at times. He is quick to point out if the turmeric is too much or the dish should not have had powdered coriander or the tomatoes should have been pureed and not cut into small pieces or the onions should be sautéed till they were light pink and not light brown… During times like these I envy the women who say that their husbands eat everything that is served to them and would not complain even if the food is a bit bland!


What is your take… love or hate… when the husband cooks??

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61 thoughts on “When The Husband Cooks…

  1. LOL at the Katrina analogy. Good, looks like your husband is master chef material. likes of Vikas khanna/sanjeev kapoor:)

    For me love and hate both. My husband cooks too but only when his mood suits him. He makes a two in one called ‘Rasambar’ a mix of rasam and sambar and my children love it so much and praise him sky high. While I who cooks daily get no such praise. Hmmmmpf…

    I would gladly let him be in kitchen but my husband is a perfectionist. When he does the dishes and clears the kitchen, he does it so much of perfection, that the perfection in him drives me up against a wall.

    • Oh, his cooking is awesome! The best is that when we have guests over for dinner, we sit with our cook books (have some more than 50 cook books) and decide on the menu, make list of ingredients needed, shop and come back and cook. It is an unwritten rule that we (he cooking and I assisting him) make dishes for the first time and try them on our guests and it turns out to be amazing all the time! Touchwood! 🙂
      I can so identify with this… no praise for mommy cooking but praise to the heaven when dad has cooked!
      LOL 😀 I have seen some perfectionists and true they do get on your nerves! 😀

  2. I am terrible at team work! So, I’m glad my husband stays out of the kitchen. Also, I can’t stand the mess they create! And yes, the biggest advantage is that he eats whatever I give him not because he doesn’t know how to cook but because he knows the amount of effort that goes into making a simple dish 🙂

    • That’s a blessing, I tell you. You are lucky!! 😀 As for KG, if the dish is not to his liking, he would leave the dining table, scan the fridge and warm/spice up the left overs or cook something entirely new!! It CAN get on your nerves!! 😐
      Yeah, that’s true… there are a lot of pluses too! 😀

  3. Same problem here too.The thing is he was a perfectionist when he was younger, but with age, he is only interested in cooking and leaving a real mess after he is done. I would use one vessel to cook most of the dishes, like the dry vegetables first, then the the wet dishes after that , whereas he would use three vessels for 3 items.And the floor too would be in a mess. The lid of the spice bottles will never be tightly closed/ not closed at all, our white cupboards will have turmeric / oil stains, and he would make so much noise with all the things used while cooking. I have to behind him cleaning all the mess before the stains leave a permanent mark.
    And when i was younger, people would always ask me,” did Ananth cook, you are lucky”. And even before anybody gets a chance to praise his work, he would be saying “I only made that/ this and all and give them tips about his cooking skills.
    I only allow him to cut vegetables which he does very well. You are right, for my husband too would say this is too much, this is less.
    Oh God! husband’s can be such a pain in the ass.
    Nice post, I am sure many women would agree with all the 10 points you have made.

    • Exactly, I have never understood the need to use so many vessels. KG has a love for using BIG vessels even if he has to cook for 2!! We are in the same boat… while the husband cooks, I clean up along with him! I dont leave the cleaning for later, otherwise the sight of the kitchen can give you panic attacks! Thanks for sharing your experience! 🙂

  4. Love or hate??

    Hmmmmm, you know my Dad is like K.G. He loves cooking and there wud be days when he wud say to my Mom, “you take rest today, I will cook”. My Mom would say, “If you cook I will take a rest for the time u r cooking but when I have to clean all that rest goes out of the window, so Thank you let me cook” 😀 not that discouraged my Dad. He would experiment and make tasty dishes and then forget what all he had put in it. So in few words, he never repeats the same dish ever 😀

    My Hubby can cook but never does. Once he had cooked when I was pregnant but jab se In Laws saath main rehne lag gaye hain he has never cooked as MIL wud say “lao main bana doon”. But when I seek help from him I tell him the ground rules that he will nto question how I & why do things the way I do he is there only to help and he shud do that and move out 😀

    But yes you win some you lose some….so u enjoy the cooking and handle the aftermath.

    • I can so relate with your Mom’s thought! Half an hour of cooking and an hour of cleaning the mess which you have not created can leave you fuming!!
      That’s so cool… love your ground rules! True, the benefits are greater and I have learnt to turn a blind eye to the irritants… win-win situation for both of us!

  5. you lucky lucky woman!!!! wish you could see how green i have become!!

    my hubby can burn even water!! that good he is at cooking!! and buy things for the kitchen? i have to specify exactly what i want with drawings and repeated instructions or you can be sure it will have to be returned or exchanged!!!!! but there is an upside to all this, he cannot stop raving about my culinary skills!!!

    my dad however is a great cook, and i keep telling mom how lucky she is!

  6. Interesting post. Yeh jo husband naam ki species hai loves to cook. The Rajmah and Mutter Panir made by hubby is lip smacking. The children relish every thing made by Papa. BUT the kitchen gives the look of a battle field ,when he steps out. .

  7. In my house, women have monopolized the kitchen. Hence, I am not able to practice cooking much. I know to cook a very few (basic) dishes only. But all this will change when I ready my own solar cooker 😀

    Destination Infinity

  8. Envious envious envious… The Husband cannot/will not cook.. I’m still not sure which one (after 16 years of marriage). And the clearing up.. truly painful. Even when he makes a cup of tea there’ll be tea leaves in the strainer, the pan will be on the stove and tea stains all over the platform.. Hey maybe I’m glad mine can’t cook. You’re bang on when you say the men do not get into competition.. cool attitude I say.

    • I would say you are lucky too, Tulika!! There are times when I wish KG would eat without his expert comments! 😀
      Men are cool that way! They have very clear focus and priorities! 😀

  9. Like Alka’s husband, mine too cooks only when I am unwell or absent and then my kitchen is a mess. My bro-in-law is currently staying with us and he is an excellent cook. But he is interested in making specials than regular rice/curry/dal dishes. Initially few days the kitchen was a mess and sink would be piled up with vessels but now he cleans the vessels, keeps masalas back in place and only thing I have to do is clean the gas stove. One glance at the gas stove and I come to know all the ingredients used to cook the dish 🙂 One thing I always wonder is why men need to use all the vessels available in the kitchen to make one simple egg omelette 🙂

    • Glad that things are under control at your place now! 😀
      I would like to know that too…along with why big vessels are needed for cooking small quantities, why 1/4th of the onion is left behind and is not used or would adding that 1/2 tomato only (and leaving the other half back in fridge) change the taste dramatically…. the list is endless… the funny ways of men in kitchen! 😀

  10. When I got married 5 yrs back, I didn’t know anything abt cooking while he did. So, he was the master chef and I the helper. 2 yrs later, I had difficulty not only cooking but also holding the ladle as it was always supervised and corrected. That was wen I told him it was either him or I in the kitchen and never both.
    Today, he chops, cleans, cuts and helps as per my instruction and leaves the room once I begin to cook 🙂

  11. I know what you mean. Been there done that. Men cook too well, but they can’t cook and keep things clean/organised at the same time. When I cook, I even wash the knife while chopping different vegetables. I can totally understand what you must be going through. Cooking under pressure kinda situation 😛 It’s master chef contest for you everyday.

    Whattay hilarious post.

    • There is no doubt that men cook well. But looks like that cleanliness gene is missing in them!! All this mess and extravagant cooking would cause a lot of heartburn earlier but not much now… learnt the lessons! 😀

  12. I was wondering if even you had the post cooking cleaning up the kitchen mess ordeal. I think men are same everywhere.

    Whenever my husband says that he wants to cook; I have a smile on my face but lump in my throat! ITs a messy place to clean!

  13. My hubby is the same. After he finishes cooking, I have to scrub the kitchen to remove all the mess.

    I know it must be scary when the husband tells you what has gone wrong with the dish. It must be so challenging for you.

  14. LOL….dear, I don’t know if I should sympathise/empathise with you or feel jealous 😛 You have said it all. I am jealous about you as ‘S’ doesn’t enter the kitchen and move a spoon. For months and years, I gave up on cutting the watermelon and pineapple as he is the only one who eats. On the other hand, I would be a crazily freaking mad woman if my kitchen is a mess!! I can’t tolerate my own mom, what will I tolerate my hubs? But you know, this chap does a good clean work…nahh..let me take it back..he cleans after cutting the watermelon but the floor is sticky..so, he doesn’t clean well 😛 And you know every man who cooks, his wife complains the same thing..that he uses up the entire cutlery…

    • Am smiling at your predicament! 😀 and laughing out loud at “can’t tolerate my own mom, what will I tolerate my hubs: 😀
      True it is blessing and a bane too, when your man cooks! 😀 😐

  15. Hi Shilpa
    My husband is not into cooking but my dad used to be a great cook and yeah I can relate to all your points 🙂 my mom would say ‘Aye’ if she read all ur points ha ha

  16. I will tell you what I tell my wife !

    You cannot have everything… after so many bonuses the dirty kitchen and way too many utensils used are a given ! 😛

    • True… there are times when having a husband who can cook is truly a blessing… For eg, when I am travelling, I dont have to worry at all, I know he can manage and also cooking on demand, anytime, anything… these are plus points… but then there are some irritants too 😀

  17. Well my father is not into cooking at all. And my mom considers it to be her good luck. Reason being my dad almost does nothing. everything is done by my mom and more than a bit by me. What he does with elan is that he leaves the kitchen all dirty and takes all the credit to himself for the deliciously cooked food. While on the other side of the dining table me and my mom fume with anger or smirk alternatively. 😛

    A very feel good post. in true sense how lucky you are. 😛 In future i definitely want to get married to a man who loves to cook as well as eat. Wish me loads of luck Shilpa! oh please!

    And i thank you for visiting my blog. 🙂

    Take care.

  18. Heh heh, loved every word of this ten on tuesday 😀
    Well Shilpa we can’t have our cake and eat it too, can we, but its a blessing to have a husband who knows the kitchen well. In fact I learnt how to cut veggies efficiently using knife from my hubby, having followed a traditional approach earlier… But like you said at times, I do envy women whose husbands just clean the plates without bothering about how much of what goes into it.

    • Thanks Reshma! Glad you enjoyed this post! I know… there are pros and cons of everything… SIGH!! Same here, KG cuts veggies like a pro and his onions are sliced so thin… I learnt chopping from him!
      True… those women are truly lucky…A BIG SIGH!!

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