N is for… No

Can I use your laptop?
Can your driver drop me there?
Please search for some images for my presentation.
Can I drop my kids at your place for 2 hours?
Should I go for that party?

These are perfectly harmless requests that come our way from friends, colleagues, neighbors  and even our very own heart or brain.

It is easier to say Yes! images (1)
And there could be a number of reasons…
…we don’t want to be rude
…we want to avoid having any conflict
…we are kindhearted, always helping soul
…we don’t want to miss out on any opportunity

But for the times that we say Yes, a small voice is struggling to come out and say No!

It can be difficult to say No whether in personal life or at work.

But saying Yes when we want to say No, can have negative consequences
…it may stress us out
…may have less time to do our own important work
…the other person may take us for granted

However, sometimes we have to say No…
So, that we can say Yes! to ourselves.

Do you say Yes, when you want to say No? What have you said No to recently?

Images courtesy : Google Images

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72 thoughts on “N is for… No

  1. Only under rare circumstances do I say yes when I want to say No. It makes me seem selfish, but that is how I am – in love with myself and won’t take unneccessary stress!

  2. I would love to say no as much as possible, and then become a social outcast! 😀
    I agree that for our mental peace, we should learn to say no sometimes and very nicely!

    • True it is tough to say no, but when we learn to say no to requests that don’t meet our inner approval, and once we do that we find how easy it actually is!! 😀

  3. I am an OCD ‘yes’er – and I know I am taken for a joy ride ALL THE TIME…I don’t want my kid to learn that from me cause it bothers me more to think of her being exploited like me. Shilpa, this is like a reality slap. I promise myself to say NO this time around, specially when people are stepping on my toes 🙂

    • Oh yes! People are very smart to exploit this trait and you are taken for granted. But it is important to say No. I read this somewhere that we build up too many barriers in our mind to saying no. Most of the times, these barriers are self-created and they are not true at all. Don’t think so much about saying no and just say it outright! ATB, Laxmi 🙂

  4. I say “NO” clearly and loudly whn I just cant do it. Hanging in some mid line will confuse me and also the one who asked !! but at times wen it is some elder person or some person whom u have to oblige even if it gives shooting pain in U KNO WER I say yes 🙁 and then try to avoid them from next time 😛

  5. That’s one thing I badly want to learn. I had so many bad experiences because I couldn’t say NO, even then, though my brain keeps telling ‘say No’, I end up saying yes. I completely agree that it’s okay to so No, but yet am rarely able to say it.

  6. It took years to cultivate, but I am now a professional no say-er. If it will cause me too much stress I will say no faster and better than a two year old child.

  7. Love this, Shilpa. I used to be an absolute ‘yes’ woman and would end up feeling used and resentful. I’ve have learned gradually to say ‘no’ and feel no guilt. Like you said, saying ‘yes’ to ourselves is of prime importance. You’re a woman after my own heart! Hugs…♥

  8. Coming from another OCD ‘Yes’er you know what I loved about your post Shilpa? Its not the ability to say “no”, but to not feel bad after saying it. That is the key. Easier said than done.


  9. I’ve been saying ‘Yes’ to people since school days, whether it was helping someone in their homework or lending a book. I don’t like to sound rude, and I generally like to help, but in the end I would end up being used. This has happeneed with very close friends of mine. I’m learning to say ‘NO’ to people and it feels so much better. Better to say’ NO’ and avoid confusion.

  10. I used to be pretty naive before and say yes, but now I really don’t. It’s a straight no. Surprisingly, it’s mostly because they don’t deserve it.

    Personally, I think people should learn to be more independent than asking for help and then behaving like it’s their right to get things done by others. Pisses me off big time, that attitude.

  11. Very relevant.. So often I see myself agreeing to do things which I don’t want to do…and then I feel the stress which becomes difficult to handle later… I will try a No, I have decided.

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