Dear Pigs… errr I mean Pigeons
Hello. I am told that you and Doves belong to the same family of birds ie. Columbidae. Tell me, how is that your cousins Doves are the symbols of peace while you are labelled as terrorists! Yes, I am not mincing my words. You have terrorized us in our very homes.
Early in the morning, I open the door leading to the balcony to enjoy some fresh breeze, the peace and the tranquillity around, with my mug of tea and newspaper in hand…. but lo and behold, all I see is you and your brethren sitting on the railings. Seeing me come, you decide to give me a shock by collectively fluttering your wings madly coupled with that scary noise. Even though, I know the routine, still I am not able to train my body to be immune to your intimidating tactics and I shudder without fail and sometimes I let out a shriek and sometimes it is some spilled tea.
Do you know, how much I love watching the rains from the swing in my balcony? All that talk of smelling the wet earth after the rains has just become some words in the books. And it is all because of you. That’s because you have no manners and you poop around like crazies. The concoction of rains and your poop is so fatal that even my nasal hair cringe and singe.
I thought since you specialize in terrorizing us, you must be some pretty smart guys! But no, you refute my belief. By chance if the balcony door is open, you decide to explore our home. Do you have plans to overtake our homes too? I know that will remain a distant dream for you all. On seeing you inside our rooms, we are empathetic and close all the other doors and keep only the door to your freedom open and even guide you towards the exit with our ‘Shoo-Shoo’, but you are so dumb that you don’t understand our directions and cant find your way out.
And today was the limit. Yesterday, when I switched on the air conditioner in the guest room, it made some unusual whirring sounds. I went out to check and I saw a few remnants of your nest on the top of the AC body. I know that you make nests in the balcony and Krishna Bai regularly cleans you out of your home but what I saw today, after the AC mechanic opened the AC, filled me with awe and disgust at the same time.
Am I confusing you? Let me explain.
I felt awe for what I saw, because I believed that you certainly took lessons from the high-rise builders whose buildings you have occupied forcibly without any landlord-tenant agreement. You have learnt from them that the foundation of any home/building should be strong. I really admire the learning you have acquired.
I am disgusted that you chose my AC to practice that learning. While it is kind of ok for me to see you building your nest on top of the AC, it is certainly not acceptable that in order to implement your learning you give a strong foundation to your nest by adding so many sticks INSIDE the AC.
Yes, can you believe it that this is the amount of twigs and sticks that were taken out from the INSIDE of the AC!! While it is kind of shocking and I was seething with rage on imagining the possibility of my AC going kaput because of you filthy birds, and not to forget the hole in the pocket of Rs 350 that I had to pay to the AC mechanic, I was filled with admiration for you too.
I admire your perseverance in building a strong beautiful nest for yourself and your babies despite Krishna Bai sweeping away your nest from the top of the AC every other day!
So, I have learnt a lesson or two from you in perseverance and tenacity and love for your family etc etc, but I seriously suggest that let’s be strangers only, like earlier times. You making a home in my home is an intrusion and I condemn and abhor it, strongly.
Please GO AWAY!!
Miss you NOT
A resident of a high-rise building
This is written for Write Tribe – Letters Unsent # 2 : A stranger who made an impression on you.
Pigeon Image Courtesy : morgueFile