D is for Domestic Violence

My theme for this year’s Blogging from A to Z April Challenge is Marriage from A to Z in 55 Words.  D is for  Domestic Violence in Marriage, which is not so uncommon.

D is for Domestic Violence in Marriage

55 Fiction

Indian Bride

The red dot on her forehead signifies female energy.

The black beaded mangalsutra around her neck protects from evil.

The bright vermilion in her hair parting is to bring about good fortune.

These powerful symbols of marriage soon loose sheen.

For they are now dulled by blue marks and the grey clouds of domestic violence.

A Word to the Wise

You don’t have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future. Jane Green.

Join me in enjoying blogs from fellow A to Zers Damaria Senne, Damyanti Biswas, Danny Simon, Debbie “Doglady”, Doreen McGettigan, dxb nidblog. Do share some blog love with them too!

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124 thoughts on “D is for Domestic Violence

    • I believe, the circumstances, the financial dependence, the social stigma, the family support, all lead to the woman accepting the DV silently! 🙁

  1. I went to a self-defense course once taught by the local police department where they said you should decide now what you are willing to do if attacked, because once it happens, you probably won’t be able to think much. I can see that. Praying for all those caught in abusive relationships.

    LuAnn Braley
    AJ’s Hooligans @AtoZChallenge
    Back Porchervations
    LuAnn Braley recently posted…BOOK REVIEW: The Publicist I & II by Christina GeorgeMy Profile

    • I liked the question they asked. It helps you to prepare yourself better mentally first. Joining you in the prayers, and hope they come out of this terrible situation!

  2. I agree that if you let someone get away with treating you badly they think that it is ok to continue to do it because you put up with it. Sad that so many women stay in abusive relationships for a long time before leaving.
    Cheryl Wright recently posted…CompassionMy Profile

    • While DV is a crime, the victims are forced to believe that it is their fault. And since their spouses or close family members are involved, they prefer to keep quiet about it and suffer it silently. Wish they realize that they are not alone and that help is available!

  3. So true Shipla, In some cases Men keep hurting their wives only because they are totally convinced That it is their Right and they know the wife will never revolt. Even many women, till date think that their husband has a right to hit them.
    Ananya recently posted…DisgustedMy Profile

    • You are so right, Ananya! While DV is a crime, the victims are forced to believe that it is their fault, so they keep quiet about it and suffer silently day in and day out!

    • Yes, they need to speak up and walk out of such abusive relationships but sadly they continue to stay for years, letting the husband abuse and scar them, physically, mentally and emotionally too!

  4. I love how you contrasted the differences between the beautiful symbols of womanhood and the domestic violance that overshadows it. Too many times we see the symbols and ignore the violence, because we feel we can’t do anything to help, or we’re afraid/don’t want to interfere or that if we try, she will go back to him and it will be in vain.

    I hope you won’t mind my posting this link this video on domestic violence. An organisation in South Africa campaigning against domestic violence conducted an experiment to see what kind of noise would elicit a response from neighbours. The results were shocking
    http://youtu.be/BW30WslahMc

    And thanks for the link love.
    Damaria Senne recently posted…C Is For Chinese CabbageMy Profile

    • Thank you so much Damaria for connecting with this post!
      And thanks for sharing that video. It is truly sad. Sometimes even the immediate family washes off their hands saying it is a matter between the couple and that they wouldn’t like to interfere in their private life.

      In India we had a campaign, Ring the Bell – Bring Domestic Violence to a Halt.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9t3BPv8tBP4
      Hope the much needed change in our society happens soon!

  5. Powerfully worded 55er Shilpa!! More often than not the symbols remain just that, mere symbols. It takes a lot of courage for an abuse victim to come out for the society is always waiting to traumatize them further.
    Reshma recently posted…B for baggageMy Profile

    • While, there is an awakening and many women are vocal about the crimes committed against them but still there are a lot who prefer to keep quiet about it and suffers the trauma and the humiliation for years altogether!

  6. Yes breaking away is always the best solution. However, I have found couples who have committed this crime under various pressure, and they have come to realize their mistake, and get back together to lead a very happy and loving life.
    So, I think it all depends on individual circumstances, the way they come about to resolve their problems and find happiness once again in their lives.
    rama recently posted…Incredible, Magnificent, India: SikkimMy Profile

    • I know what you mean, Rama. But doing something so heinous and gruesome to your spouse under the influence of somebody is so terrible. Speaks a lot about that person! Abusing physically or mentally is no way of bringing a solution to the problems at hand!

  7. I loved the way you introduced this topic, lovely ! and am so happy that you brought in domestic violence, which is now very conmen, as more and more women are coming out sharing their stories of violence and taking help. But I also find many more women, who are suffering in silence, even though they are highly qualified, earn well and are at the mercy of their husbands.

    In the last few months, I have been dealing with few cases wherein some women were not only physically abused but even their personal educational certificates, ATM, debit cards, SB account everything is with the husband. It is sad to hear these problems – I like the way you closed this post, and what you quoted is very true, they say the ones who gets abused are the ones who take it …. thanks for sharing, I am touched by your post !!
    G Angela recently posted…CHANGE !My Profile

    • Kudos to you Genevive for doing your bit in helping these women, counseling them and guiding them and helping them to come out of abusive relationships. More power to you! ♥

    • It is a grim situation. I saw the statistics and National Crime Records Bureau reveals that a crime against a woman is committed every three minutes, a dowry death occurs every 77 minutes, and one case of cruelty committed by either the husband or relative of the victim occurs every nine minutes!! 🙁
      Thank you Danny!

  8. A wife looks forward to her husband coming home in the evenings but if he a monster like this one, she dreads his knock on the door. Powerful post, Shilpa.

  9. The state of affairs is really disheartening. Two people come together because they love each other and want to spend their life together. I wonder where in all this domestic violence sets in. Can’t imagine the state of families who witness all this..
    Nisha recently posted…D is for…Dieting!My Profile

    • Wonder, when and how the husband gets the idea that he can ill-treat his wife. I shudder to think about the children, seeing this abuse at home…it would scar them for life! 😐

  10. Shilpa, you know what, I am fed up of asking one of my girl-friends to walk out of the relationship she is in, for this very reason. I try to make her see reason that even before marriage if the guy is so abusive and violent, there is no chance that he will treat you any better after tying the knot.
    The girl just refuses to listen saying he will feel bad and all that nonsense.
    Bhavya recently posted…DanceMy Profile

    • Gosh… if that’s happening before marriage, God knows what it would be afterwards! ‘Feel bad…’ Ha! Which world is she staying in?? She should RUN in the opposite direction!!

  11. I never knew any of that about the symbolism actually that is a lovely thing to know perhaps in another context, ie not related to it diminishing and later domestic violence. The domestic violence part you impart a very important message, so thank you for that. Beautiful blog by the way, really stunning. Hello from another A-Z blogger x

    • The red dot on the forehead, the vermilion and the mangalsutra are associated with married women in India, Justine!
      Thanks and glad you liked the message conveyed in this post! And good to see you here 🙂

    • I know, it is not easy, after all there are family and financial situation to be looked at and then we have our society too, which adds so much more misery in the victim’s life! 😐

    • Yes, domestic violence is so rampant in our country and the sad reality is that countless women live with violence and fear and cover up the problem on a daily basis too!
      Thanks Leo!

  12. This is powerful. In so less words you have said so much. I had posted a blog on Domestic violence sometime back looking at some cases around me. It is disheartening when someone is not even respected as a human in the name of humanity!
    Elixired recently posted…DuskMy Profile

    • Yes, have read about so many incidents of killing the victims when they dare to walk out!
      Thanks for sharing this link, PI!! So scary and so sad!

    • May be because they are convinced to believe that they are at fault, thus this treatment is meted out to them or they would like to cover up their husbands and some times I feel that they get used to this abuse too! 😐

  13. You do a great job of incorporating an explanation of what my ignorant self assumes are Indian cultural symbols and their meanings along with helping to education and lessen incidence of this global problem. Thank you.

    You were kind enough to visit my blog and leave a comment, so I stopped by to see yours. I am intrigued so I am now a follower.

    best regards,
    Elizabeth
    Elizabeth recently posted…E is for Egoism (self interest is the highest good)My Profile

  14. Yes , though one cannot generalise, exceptions are becoming not aberrations .
    Then a question why not some identification marks for men like the vermilion or the red dot etc?

  15. Of course, this does not happen to everyone, but it does happen to a lot of people. National Crime Records Bureau reveals that a crime against a woman is committed every three minutes, a dowry death occurs every 77 minutes, and one case of cruelty committed by either the husband or relative of the victim occurs every nine minutes!! I didnt get you regarding the identification marks for men.

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