Love Them or Hate Them??
The helps…the maids…The man/boy/girl fridays… we all have them around us, to assist us, to help us, to support us in our daily grind.
In fact, we love them dearly, coz because of them:
- The house looks spotlessly clean…even after the children crush the chips into a million pieces or play in the puddle of Mango Frooti, fresh and juicy!, or throw the tiny building blocks at unimaginable places.
- Entertaining guests is never a hassle, kyunki Help Hai Na!! Washing the million hundred dishes, cutting and chopping the veggies, especially the weepy onions and smelly garlic, or even transferring chairs from the room to the terrace and then back, making 2-3 dozen chapattis…they do it all!
- The pet gets his daily dose of fresh air and long walks
- Spring cleaning becomes easier and more frequent because of them…
- All the never ending, mundane, tasks of the house can be coolly forgotten courtesy them…viz dusting the dust away from the every nook and crevice of the house…
- You just saw that the stock of rice is dangerously low or the ‘dabba’ of salt is staring emptily at you…they can be rushed to the neighborhood shop to replenish the same.
- The elderly parents and kids are well taken care of while you are away slogging or even partying.
- All the sundry gifts, clothes, articles etc get utilized. (You may like to read my earlier post on this)
It is certainly a blessing to have them. But they can be painful too.
- Doing the frequent vanishing act, especially when you have an emergency (When they don’t turn up is an emergency situation for me!!!!!)
- Somehow, they have the knack of breaking or damaging or spoiling the most important, expensive or beautiful article.
- It’s mandatory for them to take leave for the wedding of their neighbor ke son ki sister-in-law ka brother ki daughter!!
- It’s always an advance salary for them and sometimes, it’s even an advance on an advance!! But why you do it…You know why!!
- Punctuality does not exist in their dictionary. There is always a new and innovative excuse every time!!
- TV and Them are like ‘One Body and Two Souls’. Just a visit in the TV room to get a key will transfixed them like Fevicol in front of the Telly!
- A visit to their native village lasts for months at a stretch…while they had promised (God promise!) to return back in a week!
- As soon as you try to correct them or guide them to do a job better, you’d see one long face the whole day!!
- Sometimes they act so dumb, repeated explanations fall on deaf ears. For instance, one Charlie would ‘insist’ on washing even the steel utensils and crockery with wire mesh, leaving scratch marks all over…till I threw the thing (wire mesh, I mean and not the Charlie!!) out of the house!
Though one cannot do without the other, yet our relationship with them is mostly bristling with tension.
So, you have the eternal conflict…love them or hate them??
You sure, know, your answer, coz I know mine!!
August 6, 2009 2:19 pm|
Hahahaha…..the second part is hilarious.
As usual, a great read.
The title of the post should have been:
“”Love Them or Hate them
But you can NEVER ignore them”
Cheers and check out my recent post.
August 6, 2009 2:36 pm|
he he he….brilliant…i mean the hate part is brilliant…
It’s mandatory for them to take leave for the wedding of their neighbor ke son ki sister-in-law ka brother ki daughter!!
and its commentable that u write on the domestic help too…
August 6, 2009 2:57 pm|
The last wire mesh point and the TV=Fevicol part sure rings a bell. Hilarious post, I thought only our servant maid is stubborn, but it looks like even servant maids across the country are the same! 😛
August 6, 2009 4:12 pm|
OMG! Who would have ever thought of writing a blog post on “kaam wali bai”! Loved it! And the hate part… so darn true yaar!
Mine has just done the “disappearing act” today! And that bit about them having to go and attend the wedding of every person who belongs to their “village”! ‘Coz the entire village is apparently “family” for them!
And yes, that wire mesh thingie… I had to throw it away too for my last maid, but it seemed like this new one wasn’t using it… at least in the beginning, but I just caught her red-handed scrubbing my sparkling stainless steel utensils with that iron mesh! 🙁
August 6, 2009 5:03 pm|
@ IndianPundit: Wow! That’s an excellent suggestion!! Should I edit it?? 🙂
@ Sid: Am glad it tickled the funny bone!! 😀
@ pawan: Oh, they are the same everywhere!! :-p
August 6, 2009 5:18 pm|
@ Kaddu: Hi!! Welcome on “A rose is a rose is a rose!”
Seeing your name on Roshmi’s blog always brought a smile, coz, we call our baby sometimes Kaddu too!! 😀
Oh, I know what you mean. Can you beat this, our help has gone to his village for Rakhi, so our neighbor’s help came to do the dishes, and you will not believe it, he went to his place, got the wire mesh and scrubbed my non-stick pan clean!! And now, white steel like parts are seen in the black non-stick pan!!
I am so disgusted!! 🙁
I guess, they are necessary evils!! 😛
August 6, 2009 5:59 pm|
Ouch! Non-stick with that wire mesh! Boy! That’s highly idiotic! My Dad makes me wash the non-stick pan myself! And if I’m not in the mood to do it, he washes it himself! Never leaves it for the maid though!
You know what… I think they do this deliberately… the house-help! ‘Coz they know we’ll pass on our old stuff to them… so they just try to make our “stuff” “old” ASAP!
August 6, 2009 6:16 pm|
@ Kaddu: I agree, if you do not want ulcers and high blood pressure, don’t leave such things for them!!
Hmmm….you are bang on target, girl!
..making stuff old ASAP!!!!
Yes, I am just not able to look at that non-stick pan now!! Somehow, I am very touchy abt non-stick utensils and Tupperware!! 😛
August 6, 2009 7:22 pm|
hahaha …. a good one!
Have just recently gave strict instructions to the helper (having seen him scrubbing a non-stick kadaai with a steel wire mesh) to restrict the use of the same only to clean the tawa & nothing else!!
& this is sooo very true:
“Though one cannot do without the other, yet our relationship with them is mostly bristling with tension”
To top it all, imagine how exasperating it gets when you can’t communicate due language problem …. I think me is all set to learn ‘dogri’!!:)
August 6, 2009 8:06 pm|
hey u mntiond partying, u mntiond slogging, wat about blogging???
thnx 2 thm, u dont just gt the topic bt also the time 2 blog about thm 😉
Itne mech bas itna hi milen ga… (um rmindd of the Channel V Bai)
August 6, 2009 11:10 pm|
haha.. good one.. I know they can be really painful to deal with.. my mom got so frustrated with them that finally we do everything ourselves 🙁
August 7, 2009 6:04 am|
good one indeed!!! never read a post like that before… we shud give the their dues too … (esp now i’m doing the jobs that they generally do!!!)
August 7, 2009 6:10 am|
The current one gets a thumbs up. She is good. But I have put up with all the things you mention. Sigh.
A good maid is essential to a tension free life. I am surprised how soon the house gets cluttered. The best time of the day is definately just after Meera has done her chores. Long live Meera and her tribe !
August 7, 2009 6:54 am|
hmmm….nice one baby !!!!
well…i for one have no complains…my maid is one hell of a gal…..TOUCHWOOD !!!
Am sure u know that already !!!!
August 7, 2009 8:42 am|
Hmmmm… very true!
But… whatever it is… they are indispensible!
August 7, 2009 8:49 am|
@ Anan: Great, so ur non-stick pan is saved. Will show you mine!! It hurts to see it!! Sob Sob!! 🙁
Oh, yeah, you need to learn Dogri, considering even your hindi is ‘Masha-allah”!! 😀
@ Vipul: Yeah, Blogging too!!
I am happy…itne main bahut kuchh mil raha hai!! Actually!! 🙂
August 7, 2009 8:50 am|
Ha ha ha!!!!!
That really was funny!!!!! Howeva its true that they are indispensable and I only realized it wen I was staying away bcoz of my job!!!!!
August 7, 2009 8:53 am|
@ evanescentthoughts: I know, what you mean!! They are a boon as well as a bane too!! And mostly they are the latter!! 😀
@ Subhayan: Wow! So you are having good learning experiences!! 🙂
@ Avdi: Touchwood!! And Lucky you!! 🙂 Atleast, somebody is happy!! 🙂
August 7, 2009 8:59 am|
@ Aashima: I know, you are another lucky one!! Munni is tooooo good! Touchwood!!
@ Roshmi: Yeah, agree, I am happy to do some of the chores on my own for a day or two, after that, its big time irritation… 😀
@ Sumeet : Hmm…so must have learnt to be self reliant now!! 😀
August 7, 2009 11:04 am|
How true.One realises the effectiveness of the KAAMWALI BAI when she goes on leave.Ask those who have shifted base outside India and they will tell you what they miss the most is the K W B
August 7, 2009 12:07 pm|
@ BK Chowla: You are absolutely right!! Our help took leave for 2 days on the occasion of Rakhi and I know, how much I Miss HIM!! 😀
Abroad, its all ‘Do-It-Yourself’!!
We are actually blessed to have them around!!
August 8, 2009 10:32 am|
the moment i started to read the positives of having a maid/help..i sure knew the ‘pains’ would be more interesting to read..
love the way you treated the negatives..that instead of fuming on how irritating the whole experience is..i was grinning throughout reading this.. 🙂
August 8, 2009 11:31 am|
the pains were quite interesting and so true. lol @TV and them are like one body,two souls.
Just discovered your blog via Nablopomo’s blogroll! Hi!!!
August 8, 2009 12:35 pm|
@ Rane: Why the pains were interesting, the reason is, we bear their ‘misdeeds’ also with a grin!!
We, fume, we get irritated and frustrated, still we welcome them the next day…day after again and again!! 🙂
@ Beeba: Hi! and Welcome on “A rose is a rose is a rose!”.
I know…our Charlie is married to the TV!! Never leaves it alone!! 😀
August 8, 2009 6:22 pm|
Well when I am all by myself I never really required except for washing & ironing clothes but of-course its a full family then they are indispensible …
August 10, 2009 10:25 pm|
Hmm… Given the kind of busy and hectic lifestyles we lead now-a-days, the helps are ‘mandatory’ and they do come with a heavy dose of drama and all that jazz… 🙄
November 5, 2014 10:20 pm|
You know I have the same dilemma..sometimes I feel so much love for them while at times they make me so mad!
November 9, 2014 6:13 am|
Very well put Shilpa. You know now that I no longer have that kind of help, I really think you all are so blessed in India to have that everyday.