Hate Rains

Rains! Ah! The Rains!! The sound of them, the talk of them, the thoughts of them and the memories of them, transport people into an altogether different plane. You see some with a blissful smile, some with that lost silly grin and some with that wistful look…

Some love the smell of rains, some love the freshness in the air, some the pitter patter of the rains, some love the pakodas and tea which are the mandatory accompaniments of rains, some love dancing in the rains… in short, Everybody Loves Rains.

But, I’d like to differ and suggest that You Should Hate Rains!

Hate rains?? Yeah, you heard it right…

Well, you know, I am sane (believe me, please) and I do have valid reasons to say a word as strong as ‘hate’ for rains.

Let me share my ‘Dhobhi List’ of why you should hate rains.

You should hate rains because…

1. No matter whether you carry an umbrella or a raincoat, you still get wet. Now, if you wanted to get wet, you’ll not be using that umbrella or raincoat. Right?!

2. The lower part of your Jeans/Trousers/Churidars etc ALWAYS gets wet and dirty. And it’s so dirty, that the only sound that comes from your throat is EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKSSSS!

3. The stains on the clothes never vanish. Even ‘Vanish’ fails in its action! And that advertisement for ‘Tide’ is all crap!

4. The washed clothes never dry and feel fresh. And are mostly damp. Yes damp, even after spinning it dry in the washing machine.

5. One portion of your house/one room gets converted into a ‘Dhobhi Ghaat’ with a clothes rack or clothesline running from one curtain rod to the other with a fan at full speed to dry up the clothes.

6. Your pet dog and cat stink. And imagine if they have ticks during this period!!

7. Most of the outdoor activities result in a lot of cancellations, delays or postponements! How sad that is!

8. Your hair is all dull, lifeless and frizzy. And you know, what wonders this can do to your look!

9. The smell of the wet clothes laced with humid sweat of co-passengers in a bus or a train converts it into a musty, stuffy fume box! This gives me an idea! If the judge wants to award a ‘near death sentence’ to any convict, he/she can ask him/her to travel in such a bus/train!!

10. God forbid, if you are on foot and passing some by-lanes of Mumbai, you are sure to wade through knee deep water. And is that water clean?? Far far from it!! Don’t want to make it gross, but gross it is, because, the water that is soaking you wet has ALL the ingredients of that big drain!!

11. There are traffic jams or the traffic moves at a snail’s pace. And if you have my hubby as a driver, you can have a non-stop commentary on the driving skills of all the drivers on the road.

12. There could be accidents on the road, due to aquaplaning. And this could be dangerous. Seriously!

13. If you cry in the rains, nobody can see it. And there are times, when you want ‘somebody’ to see you crying!!

14. If you are stranded on the road, you jump or yell or use sign language like a maniac, but no bus, no taxi, no autorikshaw will ever go your way!

15. You can have a sprained ankle or back or even a fracture somewhere, if you slip on that slippery pavement or that murky road.

16. You face God’s wrath in the form of lightning and thunder, from the heaven above and you also face the wrath of the Electricity Board in the form of power-cuts!

17. When it rains, you get wet, then cold, then sneezes and then ill, and then doctors and medicines and who knows, you could die too! 😉

So, as Geet in Jab We Met would have said, “Aap convince ho gaye, ya main aur boloon??”

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