Dear Pigs… errr I mean Pigeons
Hello. I am told that you and Doves belong to the same family of birds ie. Columbidae. Tell me, how is that your cousins Doves are the symbols of peace while you are labelled as terrorists! Yes, I am not mincing my words. You have terrorized us in our very homes.
Early in the morning, I open the door leading to the balcony to enjoy some fresh breeze, the peace and the tranquillity around, with my mug of tea and newspaper in hand…. but lo and behold, all I see is you and your brethren sitting on the railings. Seeing me come, you decide to give me a shock by collectively fluttering your wings madly coupled with that scary noise. Even though, I know the routine, still I am not able to train my body to be immune to your intimidating tactics and I shudder without fail and sometimes I let out a shriek and sometimes it is some spilled tea.
Do you know, how much I love watching the rains from the swing in my balcony? All that talk of smelling the wet earth after the rains has just become some words in the books. And it is all because of you. That’s because you have no manners and you poop around like crazies. The concoction of rains and your poop is so fatal that even my nasal hair cringe and singe.
I thought since you specialize in terrorizing us, you must be some pretty smart guys! But no, you refute my belief. By chance if the balcony door is open, you decide to explore our home. Do you have plans to overtake our homes too? I know that will remain a distant dream for you all. On seeing you inside our rooms, we are empathetic and close all the other doors and keep only the door to your freedom open and even guide you towards the exit with our ‘Shoo-Shoo’, but you are so dumb that you don’t understand our directions and cant find your way out.
And today was the limit. Yesterday, when I switched on the air conditioner in the guest room, it made some unusual whirring sounds. I went out to check and I saw a few remnants of your nest on the top of the AC body. I know that you make nests in the balcony and Krishna Bai regularly cleans you out of your home but what I saw today, after the AC mechanic opened the AC, filled me with awe and disgust at the same time.
Am I confusing you? Let me explain.
I felt awe for what I saw, because I believed that you certainly took lessons from the high-rise builders whose buildings you have occupied forcibly without any landlord-tenant agreement. You have learnt from them that the foundation of any home/building should be strong. I really admire the learning you have acquired.
I am disgusted that you chose my AC to practice that learning. While it is kind of ok for me to see you building your nest on top of the AC, it is certainly not acceptable that in order to implement your learning you give a strong foundation to your nest by adding so many sticks INSIDE the AC.
Yes, can you believe it that this is the amount of twigs and sticks that were taken out from the INSIDE of the AC!! While it is kind of shocking and I was seething with rage on imagining the possibility of my AC going kaput because of you filthy birds, and not to forget the hole in the pocket of Rs 350 that I had to pay to the AC mechanic, I was filled with admiration for you too.
I admire your perseverance in building a strong beautiful nest for yourself and your babies despite Krishna Bai sweeping away your nest from the top of the AC every other day!
So, I have learnt a lesson or two from you in perseverance and tenacity and love for your family etc etc, but I seriously suggest that let’s be strangers only, like earlier times. You making a home in my home is an intrusion and I condemn and abhor it, strongly.
Please GO AWAY!!
Miss you NOT
A resident of a high-rise building
This is written for Write Tribe – Letters Unsent # 2 : A stranger who made an impression on you.
Pigeon Image Courtesy : morgueFile
44 Responses
This is one letter to a stranger I did not expect ! What a take on the prompt !
We live on the ground floor so we don’t face too much of the Kabootar menace. But just think Shilpa, its because we have cut down their trees that the poor fellows have to resort to nesting in A/Cs 🙁
True, it is we who have encroached their property, so they are bound to take ‘revenge’ 😉
ROFL Shilpa at ur choice of subject! But I so empathise with what u said .. having faced this menance for sometime!
Happy to see you smile at this, though I am fed up of this pigeon menace! 😐
i thought it was a problem only here. Do you face the same problem. Especially i hate it when i open the kitchen windows for ventilation. my electric chimney makes a lot of noise and so i open the kitchen window, what comes in is not fresh air but little feathers of these pigeons. I am worried it might fall on the dishes and so immediately close the windows and switch on the chimney. The other day, two pigeons came in via the kitchen window and sat on my microwave and were ‘Gutter gutter’ing. I had to call the maintenace guys to remove them from the kitchen. yes, these build nests on my wash room windows too. thankfully have spared my ac.
Oh! We have the same issues here. Fortunately, they have not attacked our kitchen as yet. But I saw a similar scene ie pigeons sitting on the gas and then on the chakla, at my sister’s place. Had a tough time shooing them out. 😐
I can understand. Every place that I’ve lived in Chandigarh always had these roomies except the very first home and current one. Even if they’re not building their nest, they’re all around you all the times.
True, they are everywhere!! I remember we were looking for a flat and we came across this building which had nice spacious rooms and was well constructed too, but we gave up on that one because there were pigeons all around the place, even in the corridors… it gave such a sad and spooky look to the whole place!
I guess they might have figured out that a nest inside the AC is safer! Good thinking actually 🙂 There is one type of eagle that eats the pigeons, but since they are no more in India, pigeons are growing unchecked, it seems. Whatever, I feel that crows are cleverer and more ardent than pigeons. I am actually a fan of crows.
Destination Infinity
There is no way that they could have stayed inside the AC, when even their egg cant get inside. There are just some 4-6 inches grooves through which only sticks can go inside. Agree, crows are way better than pigeons. Though their collective caw-caws can get on your nerves! 😀
I wrote a similar post on pigeons with the same title. They are tenacious creatures and I hate them…seriously do. My gosh so many sticks..I will have to check my A/C too…they do keep sitting on it and making scratching noises with their claws ughhh.
Good to know that you are my corner and together we will drive the pigeons away hurrrr hurrrr…
Oh yes, I remember it now that you shared about it here!! Seeing so many sticks really freaked me out. I have to get the other ACs checked too now…
You must do so too! Wish they just go away but sadly they are immune to our hurrrr hurrr now-a-days 😐
I have exactly the same prob with these freaks. They sit on my clotheslines, they shit on my verandah floor, they squat on my window sills. The idiots don’t care about my shoo-shoo any more. It is I who has to clean their soo-soo.
I’ve stopped seeing them as strangers. They are known enemies now. Still, if they happen to shut up, I miss their company.
Real creeps. 😀 I enjoyed your post, Shilpa. Recently a neighbor got some net and covered their verandah. My head reels at the thought of covering mine, which is twice their size. Bad enough I had to clear out my garden from there.
Aah! They give you company too!! In our earlier flat, we got a balcony covered with net too… it spoiled the view but it was ok for a few days till we found a new menace. They would get stuck in the net. Once, we were out of town for a few days, on returning back we opened all the doors and windows and a strong stench hit us… a pigeon had entangled itself in the net and had died as there was no one to take it out… Gosh, we felt so guilty!
Interest subject. Thank God we don’t have this problem here.
Lucky you!! 🙂
Lolz… My sentiments exactly. Wonderfully unusual take on the theme Shilpa. still laughing.
Glad that this made you smile, OM. 🙂 But when we see the way they harass us with their poop and feathers, guttergoo and nests, smile is the last thing that would find its way on our faces! 😀
Now that is a letter that can be posted across the globe Shilpa. Even here in US, we find them encroaching our balcony. No option but to keep cleaning the polka-dotted space only to find it redecorated within no time…
Oh! They trouble you there too!!
You know what pigeon poop was considered to be a highly prized fertilizer in the 17th and 18th century… check this out… http://epaper.dnaindia.com/story.aspx?edorsup=Sup&wintype=popup&queryed=820015&querypage=1&boxid=11311&id=43144&eddate=2013-4-10&ed_date=2013-4-10&ed_code=820015
Hilarious for readers like us, but i know tedious for you. Pigeons nesting & resting in our homes ( buildings) has become as common as Bee Hives building their honey combs.
I recall in our previous apartments , society notice use to get circulated suggesting removal of honey combs and pigeon nest for Society Cleanliness.
Glad this brought some smiles. 🙂 Bee hives are nuisance too.
We live between our own share of wildlife – pigeons, monkeys, lizards, spiders,rats, etc etc etc. For the longest time we also had frogs in our house! What if you had to choose, would you shoo away pigeons or mice? haha! Sometimes I actually pity them..
LOL 😀 So many of them! 😀
And here we are fed up of just the pigeons 😀
Ha Ha! that’s quite some. Now I am amazed by the amount of twigs found in your AC…that many?
The pigeons surely are a menace.
Shocking na??
Pigeon poop increases respiratory problems. i have fitted a net to my balcony to ward off this menace.
Yes, that’s another part of the menace. We have covered one balcony! It is not feasible to cover the other 2 😐
I feel bad saying , this, but Kabootars really get into everybody’s nerves, their constant groaning, everything about them is very irritating. But as you have said they have become illegal occupants of most buildings. I had suffered enough during my years in Bombay. only after coming to Bangalore I got relief from these birds.
However, I have been seeing a lot of them in all high rise buildings, luckily we have not yet been bothered by them. I also pray: Kabootar tu ja ja chala ja
Glad that you are now free from their menace, Rama! 🙂
This letter too me by surprise and I can understand your feelings. When I joined hostel in Mumbai, the kabutar irritated me so much in the morning and yeah, m scared of them coz one got inside the room and I stormed out asking the watch man to shoo it away. Lol! I couldn’t help laughing at the post.
The pigeons not able to fly out is very irritating and amusing too. Glad that this post brought smiles at your end 🙂
I absolutely loved how you wrote a letter to the birds! LOL I would love to send them a letter asking them why they keep putting deposits on my car. I mean, are they trying to buy it? With all the crap, they could have bought and paid for it by now. Awesome post. So original.
Thanks Kathy. Glad you enjoyed this post! 🙂
Thankfully, our car parking is in the basement so we are spared of their deposits on the car! 🙂
Wait, these are not strangers…these seem to be bosom buddies of yours! 😀
100% agree about the poop, obvious brainlessness and the determined nest building of these!! Truly are terrorists!
If I have them as buddies, do I need enemies?? 😀
Hahaha….shilpa, that was such a sweet sweet letter…I totally understand your frustration and can’t believe you found those sticks inside the AC. My god….you got do something girl. And the poop..yuck…I hate pigeon poop…they decorate everywhere….
Yeah, just look at the sheer quantity of sticks!! How hard-working they are! Have covered the area now, so thankfully, we are spared now from their menace.
How I wish the pigs could read this letter! Wish I too could sit in my balcony with peace. Wish these pigeons understood that my hibiscus bud is not for them to take away for making a softer bed for themselves, my poor flower has not been let to grow because of these birds!
I know that man has not been easy on these species building our concrete jungle n cutting down trees, but you don’t see koel, sparrow, and even crows flapping their wings adamantly on our face!
Very well written Shilpa….you can see you’ve touched a chord here 😉
Ah! You are their victim too!! 😐
How I wish that pigs…. i mean pigeons could read and understand how much you love them!That was a rather unusual and hilarious letter, Shilpa:)
Wish… that comes true. Thanks Mr Bhatia 🙂
Shilpa,We have a window opening out of kitchen where we have a pot of water for pigeons.We feed these pigeons every morning with Corn.
Just in case,we spread their feed a bit late,they sit there making all kinds of noise,which I presume is a reminder for feed time.
They have never ever attacked our kitchen.We have no complaints against them..
You have nice pigeons in your locality, Mr Chowla 🙂 Lucky you! 🙂