A few minutes late for an impromptu all women get-together and I am greeted with “Here comes the lucky one!”
“Now, what did I do?”, I ask. My question is ignored and I am asked to quickly settle down.
The hot topic of the moment… Mother-in-Laws(MIL)!
Each had so much to share…
- A MIL who had chosen the bride for her son, herself, after ‘screening’ a lot of girls and whose only desire for a long time was to see her son married. And when the bride came, she does not have a small or even a fake smile for her. Reason, she is upset that her son and the husband dote on the new member of the family and that now the son spends less time with the her. No matter how much the girl tries to please her MIL, it all goes down the drain!
- A MIL who creates misunderstanding between the son and his wife and is glad when they fight/argue and is upset when they are happy together.
- A MIL who would like to accompany the son and the Daughter-in-Law (DIL) for every outing. And the poor guys do go along with her 90% of the times, but that one evening when they make their own plans, all hell breaks loose in the family, cold treatment to snapping at every thing follows!
- A MIL who would not allow the DIL to do anything in the kitchen. Kitchen is the MIL’s domain. So, after initial attempts to assist her in the kitchen resulted in snubbing , the DIL took the best option… to stay away from kitchen. Even that was frowned upon by the MIL. So, it’s a everyday struggle, comments, snide remarks in the kitchen now…
- A MIL has only frowns and a long face for the DIL while her happiness knows no bounds when her daughters are home!
- A MIL drops all the pending household chores as soon as the DIL enters home after work. It’s like now ‘it’s the DIL’s responsibility to look after the home’. The poor girl is not allowed even some 10 minutes of relaxation.
- A MIL who is so very dominating and everything should be done as per her standards, her desires and her wishes, even the menu for breakfast!
- A MIL who is never in sync with the DIL’s child-raising abilities, who would reprimand her when she is reprimanding the child, thereby creating so much of confusion for the child and immeasurable heartburn, irritation and frustration for the DIL.
In short, we have MILs here who are very manipulative, control freaks, who treat their DILs as competition and believe that they are not good enough for their sons. These are the mother-in-laws who specialize in back-handed comments and constantly bash their DILs with words! These are the mothers who are constantly forcing their sons to prove their loyalty or forcing them to choose between them or the wife.
Both the MILs and DILs are educated lot here and there are no dowry issues or the physical abuse or… but the days are a big drudgery for these DILs.
The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body. The stress, the emotional trauma these MILs bring in their lives is way too much. Gritting teeth or maintaining a cool facade is not a long term option. For these DILs, dealing with their MILs is exhausting and all this pulls them down both physically and emotionally. The MIL’s insecurities and the negativity that brings, results in sleepless nights for the DILs. Some of them are at their wits end and find themselves in such a messy situation.
And their pain is so much so that one DIL has decided that she will have a Live-in Son-in-Law for her daughter (who is just 5), as she does not want her daughter to go through the emotional stress like the one she is experiencing because of her MIL.
Though these DIL’s every sentence starts with, Mummy Ji, but these are not like their real Mothers but are Mother-in-Laws from Hell for sure!!
Ok, why I am the lucky one, as per these women!? Well, I don’t have in-laws!!
What about you?? How is your Mummy Ji??