The Great Indian Litterbug

Resume of The Great Indian Litterbug

Name : Great Indian Litterbug.  My friends call me, GIL! You can call me, Gily.

Address : I am omnipresent like God. But unlike Him, I am visible in every nook and corner of this country. You don’t have to pray hard to find me. All you have to do is just step out of your home and look around. Yes, just look around! And I will be there to greet you with a smile drenched in paan-red lips.

Skills and Strengths: Spitting around. Yes, I love doing that. I can do it anytime and anywhere… place, time, absolutely no bar. I can thrill you with a variety of sounds that accompanies my spitting. Of course, my personal favorite is ‘pichak’ and ‘peetch’ that is produced after having a mouthful of gutka, paan masala and/or paan.

The perennial cold that I suffer from makes me cough all day long! Aah! The unhygienic conditions we have in our country! The forceful expulsion of the phlegm with accompanying sounds is another skill set that I have. Doing aak-thoo especially from the bus or train window or when somebody stops me for asking directions or just about anytime is my passion. Since the phlegm is sticky, thick and viscous fluid, it can cause discomfort and congestion of your nasal passage and throat. Getting rid of it with distinct sounds is so gratifying. You have to take my word for it! Try it sometimes! Man, you will love it too.

Additional Experience : Pissing anywhere. Well, it is an age old practice. Relieving self out in the open without any fear or shame is kind of liberating. And also, when a man has to go, he has to go. Place and time cannot stop him doing what he got to do. I have had the pleasure of sharing many walls with even the rich getting out of those luxury SUVs and sedans. The passers-by pass our watering walls with covered noses as if they are inhaling some horrific smell. I wonder why they do that. The piss rolling off the wall and onto the pavement does not bother me at all. What bothers me though is placement of pictures of Gods of all religions on my favourite walls in the city.

Aim : My aim in life is to paint the town red… and yellow too. I am steadily and consistently inching towards my larger goal. Public spaces, buildings, walls, corners, pavements, bazaars, railway stations, bus stands, restaurants, hospitals… are witness of my scarlet and ochre works of art.

I look forward to meeting you for a personal interview and would love to share more of my achievements and accomplishments.

Aak Thoo. I mean Thank you!

This post is written for Indiblogger and http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/

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