HNCs = E Square

Sunday; June 14, 2009; 9 pm logo_textured_full_e2

I am bored! Bored of surfing the net, glimpsing at the forward mails, reading and re-reading my blogs. I am kinda weary after being with my laptop for the past 9 hours!! I know..I know!!

So what do I do? Baby is asleep and KG is still in Srinagar!

TV!! I get the inspiration!

Started surfing the channels. My attention span for TV programs can be measured in mili seconds. But guess, what caught my attention…Our Good Old Hindi News Channels (HNCs). And why them? Coz…remember Point No. 7 of “I am Addicted”?

So started looking at the HNCs with renewed interest.

And the Breaking News is:
News 24– Chand pahunche Fiza ke ghar, Chand Fiza whahi, nautanki nayee, Love story main naya twist

India TV – Pakistani machhar se bachna! Ye machhar katega to jism sad jayega!

NDTV India– BJP ka Mogambo kaun?

IBN7 – Vasoolna hee hoga lagaan. Bharat ke liye jeet jaroori. England ko harana jaroori

Aaj Tak – Shiney Ahuja par rape ka aarope. Shiney Ahuja hain film abhineta. Naukrani ne lagaya aarope. Shiney Ahuja se thane main poochtach. This was flashed 16 times and I lost count after that coz my eyes started dazzling with the visual effects!

Star News– Bharat banam England. Aa dekhe jara… Galtiyon se lo sabak.

WoW! Is this News? But the best Breaking News shown sometime back was…

What happened to the news on AI delaying salaries of 31000 employees, 3 more test positive for swine flu, racial attack in Australia, Taliban chief booked, blast in Pak, clashes in Iran etc etc?? Well, covering them is not their domain!

HNCs are accused of thriving on cheap sensationalism and melodrama and are mere tabloid and Entertainment channels. But I can say, they are doing a great Educational service. One can surely learn a lot from our HNCs.

  1. How to use superlatives, adjectives and adverbs in hindi language. HNCs are a ‘Must See’ for those appearing for Hindi Grammar exams. Some eg. Chhuda do chhake, Vaidya ki kadvi goli, dahej ke darinde, shaitani mansoobe, bebas Chand
  2. Repeating the same thing again and again can help you remember and learn. After all you may have to appear for an exam on the news telecasted by the HNCs tomorrow and you are a moron!
  3. Personal life is more important than the public life. It is mandatory to know what the great Khali eats, how much he eats, what he wears, how he proposed to his wife…how Rakhi Sawant slapped or kissed…
  4. How to use exaggerated emotional responses. The guides for these are the crime reporters!
  5. How to tell a story from a sentence. I guess précis writing is OUT!
  6. Being a tarot card reader, pundit, numerologist or an astrologer is a great career option too. Look at the sheer number of new entrants in this field and all in glittering, glimmering dresses and long beaded necklaces! Do I envy??
  7. How to commit crimes. Yeah sad though, but one can learn the tricks and details through re-enacted visuals and graphics, which would be repeated at least a 100, 23 times!
  8. How to create confusions and misunderstanding of concepts and increase superstitions. Check out supernatural news shows…where you have Yamraj se mulakat and learn about naag, nagin, bhoot-pret, houses that are haunted and a vegetarian housewife who wanted to drink blood ever since she had a vision of the Goddess Kali!

So who says that our HNCs have only great entertainment value?? What say You?? 🙂
Images Courtesy:…/2009/03/e2_series.html &

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