It’s FREE…FREE…FREE…The Advice, I Mean!

Scene 1 : “Tch…Tch, your child has to wear spectacles, at such a young age???!!Are these high power lenses?? 24 hours, eh?? Poor child!” said a lady while we were waiting in a doctor’s clinic. Before I could settle her curious intrusive concerns (though I was least inclined to do so!), she spared me the effort by getting straight to the sure shot, 100% effective remedies to remove the “abnormal” support structure. From, washing eyes with Trifala-water to eating carrots, tomatoes daily…I got it all!

Hmmm…thanks for enlightening, I didn’t know all this till you said it!! BTW, I may be a just short of getting a formal Masters Degree in Astigmatism! Yeah, that is what the kid has!

Scene 2: At a formal party, in a group, a lady singles out an unsuspecting friend and shares HER fitness mantras for her….GM Diet, to bicycle pumps and crunches and much more, much to the embarrassment of one and all in the group. The target in question had just a stupefied reaction!

Who the hell are you to suggest all this??

Scene 3: A friend’s friend (No, the latter was not our friend!) joined us for a party at home. “You should have bought a 32-inches LCD and not a 40-inch!” (Am sure, it would had been just the reverse, if we had a 32 inches and not the 40 inch TV!). And yet another one said…“You don’t need a treadmill at home, when you have a big park bang opposite your home!”
Did we ask for your expert comments?? Or are you our consultant on ‘what-we-need-to-buy’?

Scene 4: “How long you have been married?”, asked X to Y. The question startled Y. With a puzzled disbelief, Y said, “4 years”. And then followed a series of sermons on importance of children, too late…joy…parenthood…
Oh God…not again!

Remedies for a common cold and headache to diabetes, the school for your child to the career planning, your diet plan to exercise regime, you will get it all free, yes the free ki advice or the unsolicited advice…from any Tom, Dick and Harry!

You can get this free advice even on YOUR vacation plans, how to bring up your kids, how to manage your finances and sometimes, even how to manage your own life!! I can empathize with all the Mothers-to-be!! Because every stranger has an advice for them, they truly are the worst hit!

The best is, you go to a beauty salon and the attendant will tell you non-stop all about your bad hair, dark circles, rough and dull skin, the pimples and acne and the tips or treatments you should take for that, till you feverishly pray for whatever-you-came-for gets done and you are out of it, coz the subtle hints to shut up, just doesn’t work with them. (I know, it’s their business, but there has to be a limit!)

People love to talk. They love to give you unsolicited advice, tell you what to do, and let you know exactly what it is that you’re doing wrong with your life.

Seemingly innocent, these questions or suggestions can be painful for those with private tales of grief and stress!

I wonder, why do they do that…I mean give this free advice, when none is asked for! Is it to take the role of a ‘more knowledgeable person’ or do they love hearing themselves argue. Sometimes, I see them, preparing grounds for their favorite topic!

Why I abhor this advice…free one I mean, because, mostly it is hurtful, judgmental, arrogant and patronizing!, which is a far cry from the humble, caring and helpful encouragement that one actually needs.

And suddenly, I wish the Toms, Dicks and Harrys practice these words of wisdom:

  • To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own. John Gray
  • I don’t give advice. I can’t tell anybody what to do. Instead I say, this is what we know about this problem at this time. And here are the consequences of these actions. Joyce Brothers
  • The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right. Hannah Whitall Smith

Or should it be the wisdom, which a truck driver painted on his truck, “Gyan mat baantiye, yahaan sabhi gyaani hain!!