Ten on Tuesday – 24
It’s that time of the year, when everybody is out there in the market, to do what is mandatory in this season. Yes, the festive season demands us to shop till we drop and go back home with loads of shopping bags and depleting bank balance. So, you have old uncles and aunties checking the goods, you see the mothers with a couple of bags in one hand and the other hand dragging a balking child. Then there are groups of college going kids spending more time on fun and noise than doing the shopping, also there are these lovey-dovey couples who look less at the showcased stuff but more at each other and of course the regular shoppers like me. So whether you shop in the big malls or in the narrow by-lanes of the old city, you will come across, different varieties of shopkeepers. Yeah, shopkeepers, the people who sell their wares/goods to us. This post is about the various types of shopkeepers and their salesmen who enhance and enrich or wreck and worsen our shopping experience.
- The No-Nonsense Guy : You ask for a product X, he shows you the product X. He does not believe in much customer interaction and just talks to the point. Try asking him for some discount, (Oh, how much we love discounts and freebies), he will not look up from his bill making process. You grab the bill hungrily only to find the product is being sold to you at the specified rate only!
- The Super Salesman : You want to buy just a shampoo. “Ma’am, for your damaged hair, this conditioner is a must use. You should try this. Don’t you use a toner for your face, your pores are all big and gaping. This is best toner for your skin type. Use it and you will thank me for this! This is the latest range of eyeliner which Kareena is promoting… You go to his shop to buy one product and you come back with three!!!
- Totally Indifferent : You say, “Bhaiya aur dikhao… Do you have this design in pink?…” He acts as if he didn’t hear anything. This is despite when neither you have rejected a dozen options nor you are asking for some silly piddly thing! You look around yourself for the object of your desire and tell him to show ‘that’ piece and grudgingly he will take it out. Such a passive approach is so sad and a big mood (shopping mood, I mean) killer! A walk-out is the bestest option here.
- The Brothers : Ok, you address the shopkeepers as ‘Bhaiya’ and a few are ‘Uncle’’ too, so naturally they call you ‘Sister or Didi! In Jaipur, some even call you ‘Bhabhi ji!!’ There was this guy who once addressed me as ‘Small Sister’(yeah in English only), I tried to rationalize, he must be influenced by The Big Brother!.
- Jo Tera Hai Wo Mera Hai : But Jo Mera Hai Wo Mera Hi Hai! You buy a thing which costs Rs 1999. You pay Rs 2000 and wait. But they close the cash counter firmly and move ahead to wait on the next customer. Go ahead and judge me but I am talking about THAT one rupee. Just think what that One Rupee of YOUR hard-earned money does to the shopkeeper’s account. Suppose a shopkeeper does not return this One Rupee (and you know that almost all the brands are priced which end with the magical no. 9, so you have prices ranging from Rs 49 to 99… 199, 299, 399…) to 50 customers in a day, his daily earnings would be Rs 50, and monthly earnings would be Rs 50×30 days= Rs 1500 and look at the yearly earnings from YOUR ONE RUPEE, Rs 1500×12 months = Rs 18000!! Think about it, the next time!
- The Snails : Working in slow motion is what they do. So, whether you have all the time in the world to shop or are in a tearing hurry, these shopkeepers just cannot work fast to even save their lives! Some of the guys who pack gifts are slower than the snails too!
- The Big Talkers : They greet you warmly, they ask you questions, they suggest a lot of options, they even compliment you, and can talk to your 1 year old too… in short, they do not keep quiet even for a minute. Sometimes, it’s ok to listen to all the blabber and at times it’s irritating too.
- The Hard Sellers : Perfect in their product knowledge, they rattle the feature, advantages and benefits of a product with great panache. You ask any query, they have the answer, you try to find faults, they know how to handle that too. Persistent and confident, they know how to close the deal quick. 3 years ago, when I wanted to change my laptop, after all the research and comparisons, I wanted to go for Dell, and this shopkeeper convinced us to buy Acer. We bought it but somehow, I was never proud of my Acer Laptop!
- Always Missing : These are the shopkeepers who are never at their shops. You always have to wait outside, look here and there and hope that they see you standing and came back to their workstations ASAP. The courier guy next to our office and the aquarium guy from whom we buy our gold fishes are NEVER at their respective shops.
- The Troubled Ones : These are the guys who are angry, frustrated about something in life, so they vent out their irritation, anger at the unsuspecting customer. A nasty comment or an irritating look is what you get from them. Thank You Jack and Destination Infinity for contributing to this category. Truly appreciate it.