N is for… No
Can I use your laptop?
Can your driver drop me there?
Please search for some images for my presentation.
Can I drop my kids at your place for 2 hours?
Should I go for that party?
These are perfectly harmless requests that come our way from friends, colleagues, neighbors and even our very own heart or brain.
It is easier to say Yes! 
And there could be a number of reasons…
…we don’t want to be rude
…we want to avoid having any conflict
…we are kindhearted, always helping soul
…we don’t want to miss out on any opportunity
But for the times that we say Yes, a small voice is struggling to come out and say No!
It can be difficult to say No whether in personal life or at work.
But saying Yes when we want to say No, can have negative consequences
…it may stress us out
…may have less time to do our own important work
…the other person may take us for granted
Do you say Yes, when you want to say No? What have you said No to recently?
Images courtesy : Google Images
April 15, 2013 7:32 pm|
Only under rare circumstances do I say yes when I want to say No. It makes me seem selfish, but that is how I am – in love with myself and won’t take unneccessary stress!
April 16, 2013 6:51 am|
That’s super cool, Nisha! People may think whatever they like, but ultimately saying and doing what you believe in gives you much more peace! 🙂
April 15, 2013 8:09 pm|
It happened with me lot many times in past….but now I do not feel bad to say ‘No’ if I want to.:)
April 16, 2013 6:51 am|
That’s the way it should be, Nibedita 🙂
April 16, 2013 2:39 am|
Seriously its so important to say no… I rarely am able to do it though… 🙂
April 16, 2013 6:54 am|
Well, you are not alone, Dhiren. So many of us are in the same boat! But it is OK to say NO, sometimes! 🙂
April 16, 2013 2:58 am|
initially i used to say yes and land in trouble. Now it is yes only if i enjoy doing the help otherwise it is a emphatic ‘NO’.
April 16, 2013 6:56 am|
They say, it’s all about learning the right way to say no! And sometimes, the fears of saying no are just in our mind!
April 16, 2013 3:29 am|
i am never able to say a NO- as much as I want to ! sigh. it is imperative that we cultivate the habit … good post shilpa
April 16, 2013 6:57 am|
I can understand that. But it is seen that after you start saying no to others, you realize that it’s really not as bad as you thought!!
April 16, 2013 4:27 am|
I would love to say no as much as possible, and then become a social outcast! 😀
I agree that for our mental peace, we should learn to say no sometimes and very nicely!
April 16, 2013 6:58 am|
Well said, rather than avoiding something altogether, it’s all about learning the right way to say no!
April 16, 2013 4:47 am|
Ever so true. But so difficult to do. I also find it hard to say no. Nice one for the letter N.
April 16, 2013 7:01 am|
True it is tough to say no, but when we learn to say no to requests that don’t meet our inner approval, and once we do that we find how easy it actually is!! 😀
April 16, 2013 5:33 am|
I am very bad at saying no ! I dont think that a very good thing !
April 16, 2013 7:01 am|
It is not a good when you do it all the time! 😛
April 16, 2013 5:35 am|
It is very important to learn to say No to be stressfree. I did an article on this exact subject http://www.avagmah.com/why-should-you-master-the-art-of-saying-no/
April 16, 2013 7:04 am|
Some very valid and wonderful pointers to get that inner peace! Thanks for sharing, Rachna 🙂
April 16, 2013 5:43 am|
These days I am saying a lot of “No”s and I am a happier soul 🙂
April 16, 2013 7:05 am|
Way to go, Sri 🙂
April 16, 2013 5:54 am|
I am an OCD ‘yes’er – and I know I am taken for a joy ride ALL THE TIME…I don’t want my kid to learn that from me cause it bothers me more to think of her being exploited like me. Shilpa, this is like a reality slap. I promise myself to say NO this time around, specially when people are stepping on my toes 🙂
April 16, 2013 7:14 am|
Oh yes! People are very smart to exploit this trait and you are taken for granted. But it is important to say No. I read this somewhere that we build up too many barriers in our mind to saying no. Most of the times, these barriers are self-created and they are not true at all. Don’t think so much about saying no and just say it outright! ATB, Laxmi 🙂
April 16, 2013 5:56 am|
slowly learning to say No. Harmless rejections work good for you, rather than a pressurised yes.
April 16, 2013 7:16 am|
You said it, Maliny! Agree with it completely! 🙂
April 16, 2013 7:15 am|
I say “NO” clearly and loudly whn I just cant do it. Hanging in some mid line will confuse me and also the one who asked !! but at times wen it is some elder person or some person whom u have to oblige even if it gives shooting pain in U KNO WER I say yes 🙁 and then try to avoid them from next time 😛
April 16, 2013 7:18 am|
I know, there are times when you cant say No at all. So we bear those times with a grin even if it hurts there! 😀
April 16, 2013 8:05 am|
This post really spoke to me. I am always saying Yes, when I want to say no, and regretting it later. But of late I have been trying to assert myself. I don’t want my kids to think it is ok to have people walk all over you.
April 16, 2013 10:16 am|
Being assertive is the key, Cynthia 🙂
April 16, 2013 9:19 am|
That’s one thing I badly want to learn. I had so many bad experiences because I couldn’t say NO, even then, though my brain keeps telling ‘say No’, I end up saying yes. I completely agree that it’s okay to so No, but yet am rarely able to say it.
April 16, 2013 10:16 am|
It’s time you start saying NO 🙂
April 16, 2013 9:29 am|
It took years to cultivate, but I am now a professional no say-er. If it will cause me too much stress I will say no faster and better than a two year old child.
April 16, 2013 10:17 am|
That’s cool 🙂
April 16, 2013 9:45 am|
Love this, Shilpa. I used to be an absolute ‘yes’ woman and would end up feeling used and resentful. I’ve have learned gradually to say ‘no’ and feel no guilt. Like you said, saying ‘yes’ to ourselves is of prime importance. You’re a woman after my own heart! Hugs…♥
April 16, 2013 10:37 am|
Even I used to be a Yes woman, but learnt some hard lessons and now am better at saying No. Hugs back to you too, Corinne 🙂
April 16, 2013 11:26 am|
I still have not expertise learn to say a firm No… well long away from it. I wish i could learn to do so ASAP.
April 16, 2013 11:31 am|
Sorry for the mistakenly added word ‘expertise’ and the typos 🙁
April 16, 2013 11:49 am|
‘No’ has got to be the hardest word.
April 16, 2013 7:30 pm|
Agree!
April 16, 2013 12:35 pm|
I have really had to teach myself how to say no, especially at work. I often take on way too many projects!
April 16, 2013 7:31 pm|
Hmmmmm…. it is important to say No sometimes!
April 16, 2013 12:42 pm|
I used to say Yes all the time until I ended up in the hospital due to stress. Now I say no without guilt.
April 16, 2013 7:32 pm|
That’s the way it should be, Clarissa! 🙂
April 16, 2013 1:14 pm|
Coming from another OCD ‘Yes’er you know what I loved about your post Shilpa? Its not the ability to say “no”, but to not feel bad after saying it. That is the key. Easier said than done.
Meera
April 16, 2013 7:34 pm|
You know what Meera, sometimes it is all in our mind that the others would feel bad, but it is not as bad as we imagine! So say No, bindas! 😀
April 16, 2013 2:14 pm|
I’ve been saying ‘Yes’ to people since school days, whether it was helping someone in their homework or lending a book. I don’t like to sound rude, and I generally like to help, but in the end I would end up being used. This has happeneed with very close friends of mine. I’m learning to say ‘NO’ to people and it feels so much better. Better to say’ NO’ and avoid confusion.
April 16, 2013 7:35 pm|
Great going, Diana 🙂
April 16, 2013 2:37 pm|
I used to be pretty naive before and say yes, but now I really don’t. It’s a straight no. Surprisingly, it’s mostly because they don’t deserve it.
Personally, I think people should learn to be more independent than asking for help and then behaving like it’s their right to get things done by others. Pisses me off big time, that attitude.
April 16, 2013 7:37 pm|
I can relate to that!
April 16, 2013 2:37 pm|
I need to learn the art of saying No. I envy this ability in so many of my friends.
Damyanti @Daily(w)rite
Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2013
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
#atozchallenge
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April 16, 2013 7:38 pm|
🙂
April 16, 2013 3:01 pm|
I am too much a YES person to say NO. 🙁
April 16, 2013 7:38 pm|
Oh! 😛
April 16, 2013 3:20 pm|
Its not at all easy to say No!! Hmm!! 🙂
April 16, 2013 7:39 pm|
Try it sometimes! 🙂
April 16, 2013 3:22 pm|
I am going to share this on facebook for a friend who has a problem with saying NO. I do too, actually 🙁
April 16, 2013 7:40 pm|
Thanks a lot, Ava for sharing it on FB. Truly appreciate it! 🙂
April 16, 2013 5:06 pm|
Oh yes … I know what you mean about No! i enjoyed your post thank you for sharing from another A to Zer
Becs http://www.talesfromtedium.wordpress.com
April 16, 2013 7:41 pm|
Thanks and welcome here 🙂
April 16, 2013 7:30 pm|
I have spent half my life saying YES when I sometimes wanted to say NO. Will learn eventually 🙂
April 16, 2013 7:41 pm|
Yes, we all learn sooner or later! 🙂
April 17, 2013 1:08 am|
I can never say no but I feel that I must learn to say a polite no,
April 18, 2013 11:03 am|
Oh yes! it is how you say it, that is important 🙂
April 17, 2013 3:53 am|
I can sense the situation beforehand,I bite my lips,clear my throat ,arch my back …only to croak a ‘YES’,yet again !!
April 18, 2013 11:04 am|
Awww!! 🙂 😛
April 17, 2013 5:26 am|
Very relevant.. So often I see myself agreeing to do things which I don’t want to do…and then I feel the stress which becomes difficult to handle later… I will try a No, I have decided.
April 18, 2013 11:04 am|
Good girl 😀
April 17, 2013 7:26 am|
Absolutely true.. We always tend to say Yes when we should ideally be saying No. I do that a lot.. I call it my weakness and am struggling to set it right..
You have made a perfectly agreeable point..
– Your fellow A toZer
Visit my post at http://precari0us.wordpress.com
April 18, 2013 11:05 am|
All the best and thanks for sharing 🙂
April 18, 2013 7:34 am|
I must repeat this to myself everyday “Its okay to say no”
April 24, 2013 1:18 pm|
Did you do it today!! 😀
April 22, 2013 2:13 pm|
Well,as far as I know…I never say NO for any genuine cause or reason of help
April 24, 2013 1:19 pm|
That’s superb and if it is genuine, one should definitely help! 🙂