I was busy. She came unannounced and said in a sombre voice , “I broke up with him”. I was tempted to say something in a I-told-you-so-look. But checked myself and asked instead, “How are you feeling?”.
That one question changed our relationship.
Listening to her with attention, alertness and an attitude of acceptance as she talked about her insecurities, vulnerabilities, gave a deeper sense of connect. This quiet conversation moved our relationship to a more meaningful one.
I learnt that day, the therapeutic and healing power of empathy in a conversation, the power of looking from someone else’s perspective…
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50 Responses
Paradigm shift! Great!
Yes… one learns… 🙂
What Shilpa! Another one. I am always in awe of people who can write in word limits.
Good one 🙂
It is wonderful to write with word limits. I like the challenge of removing 3 words or adding 2 more to achieve the perfect word limit. Try it, Reema… you’ll like the experience. 🙂
Hi Shilpa this is superb.
Thank you Ma’am 🙂
Would you like to participate in this?
Pls visit this link…
http://everydaygyaan.com/2013/05/100-words-on-saturday-week-9/
for more details.
Excellent ! It is often difficult to experience the pinch of a shoe 🙂
Thanks Sri. And the day you experience/realize the other person’s pinch, your whole perspective changes. 🙂
Good one Shilpa. Knowing when to shut up and listen is also an art only some can master.
Well said, Janaki. True, listening is a skill. Unfortunately, we are far better talkers than we are listeners. 😛
So true! When we are hurting, we are looking for an empathetic ear not a lecture. Beautifully said.
Agree with you being understood by others is the greatest need of all of us and in certain situations we just want somebody to listen to us!
powerful words Shilpa! so many of the problems could be solved just if we listened! that’s why it is said that god gave us two ears and only one mouth, so that we can listen to others twice as much as we speak!!
Thanks S. Love what you have said here… we need to seriously follow that! 🙂
So true – attentive listening can bring so much healing to another!
That’s right, the role of a listener is to help empty the large reservoirs of emotion, anger, stress and other negative feelings until the person can see more clearly. And in this process the person feels better and is on the road to recovery and healing…
YEs, shilpa nobody wants advice, everyday wants a listener and empathy. This is beautifully said in 100 words.
True, a patient listening is sometimes we need! Thanks Asha 🙂
Good work. It is something more should adopt. Listening to what they say, that is all the help most people need.
Absolutely! More of us need to be listening empathetically. Few of us actually listen. Even if we appear to be paying attention, we’re usually just thinking about our response. 😛
The willingness to listen and the attitude of acceptance, this was the base of our (my Sh’s) relationship.. Don’t know what went wrong 🙁
This post truly touched my heart..
Oh! Have faith, things would come back to normal… give her some time. All the very best 🙂
Listening heals, doesn’t it? When someone listens to you, you feel half the problem is solved there itself. Solutions come up slowly..
You are so very right, Latha, when we are open to listening, we are open to think and when we do that solutions come easily.
When we can listen, truly listen, it’s such a gift…to both the speaker and the listener!
Very true, Galen, we are giving the gift of healing to the speaker when we listen!
Could listen to your post a long time!
Thanks Patrick 🙂
I really liked this. Understanding goes a long way in improving relationships. 🙂
Absolutely, listening with a open mind and patiently, gives you insights which you can never see with a closed mind.
I give credit to all of you.I cant even express myself in 1K words,hence never attempted 100 words
Thanks Mr Chowla. You can do it too… it is just that you never tried! 🙂
Beautiful, to listen and empathize when its easier to reprimand and rebuke, is such a difficult, but rewarding thing to do. 🙂
You are bang on, Bhavya!
Well written Shilpa as usual 🙂 Sometimes we need a heart that listens patiently than a mind that gives great advice 🙂
You have said it so beautifully, Diana. An open mind which is receptive to the thoughts and ideas can only give great advice. 🙂
Beautiful Shilpa 🙂
The art of listening is so very important!! 🙂
Absolutely!! 🙂
Most people hear you but do they really listen to what you are saying? listening is more important than speaking, I guess that’s why we have two ears and one mouth 🙂
Well said, Reshma… if we can listen twice as much as we speak… our relations would be much better… 🙂
And listening does help you grow as a person. Wonderful!!
Very true!
True we are always talking, talk, talk talk, if only we would listen.
Exactly, listening > Talking!!
There is a world of difference between hearing and actually listening.Loved the post Shilpa.
You have shared an important aspect, Sharmila… Hearing and listening are so different. The difference between the sense of hearing and the skill of listening is attention, which most of us lack so badly.
Looking at things from another’s perspective is something we should do often. Nicely done.
Very true, empathy instills a sense of belonging and builds strong interpersonal relationships. Thanks, Suzy 🙂
Giving lecture is what we do best. I takes a lot of love and understanding to actually lend a ear and quietly help someone through a tough time. Nice one. 🙂
http://www.heresmysay.com/100-words-on-saturday-quiet-conversation/
Very rightly put, Jyothi 🙂