I See You
It dates back when I was a new mother. Everyone around me couldn’t stop from gushing on seeing the little one. 
“Aha, she is so cute”.
“You must be loving the experience of being the mother of this angel”.
“Isn’t motherhood the most beautiful experience of this world? I believe, you couldn’t have asked for more!”
And I smiled with them. Motherhood must be bliss. After all they were speaking from experience.
I was 35 then and had longed for a child all my life. After 6 years of marriage, my dream had come true.
One day, after the lil one had fallen asleep, I was sitting by the window and sipping my tea, lost in my thoughts…
Shanti, my maid came near me and took my hands in hers. I was taken aback. I looked into her eyes. 
In that moment, I realized that sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
What I saw in her eyes, shook me to the core. She hugged me and I let the tears of the pain and sadness flow. Of all the people around me, only she understood, what I was going through. Only she understood the pain behind the smile. She understood the insecurities, hopelessness, helplessness and guilt I experienced as a new mother!
PS : While most mothers experience excitement and joy on the birth of their baby, some mothers feel fear and anxiety. And since most are clueless about why they feel this way and the same goes with their families too, this sadness and helplessness after child birth can result in depression which is called postpartum depression. Postpartum depression isn’t a character flaw or a weakness. Sometimes it’s simply a complication of giving birth. Postpartum depression is temporary and treatable with professional help.
This is a fiction written for Write Tribe’s Wednesday Prompt ‘Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye’.
Linking it to January 2014 Ultimate Blog Challenge and NaBloPoMo
To read posts by fellow friends and UBC and NaBloPoMo participants, click here Jairam, Kajal, Kathy, Michelle, Nabanita, Richa, Suzy Que, Sheethal. Yes, we can do we with some more cheering and support. 
January 25, 2014 4:51 pm|
This is wonderful, Shilpa. Guess I have faced this too-postpartum depression…For almost 2 years I was clueless as to what needs to be done with the child and raising her.
Ah! sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
Lovely!
February 4, 2014 6:20 pm|
2 years!! OMG, Kajal. Glad that it is all behind you now!! Thanks.And Hugs ♥
January 25, 2014 5:49 pm|
Hi Shilpa
Contrary to the usual depictions of new mothers, it actually takes a fair amount of time for the presence of the new life to sink in and for the bond to develop. Nothing happens like in baby powder ads. Plus its tough for the moms to understand themselves when theY are unable to wholeheartedly indulge In the rejoicing all around. Lovely take on the prompt.
February 4, 2014 6:24 pm|
You are spot on, Jayashree. There are so many changes happening inside and around a woman, she may be totally at a loss and cannot relate to the happiness all around. All she needs is time, support, love and understanding! Glad you liked this piece.
January 25, 2014 6:23 pm|
I have found that, once we stop listening to others, we get a much more honest view of life!
Destination Infinity
February 4, 2014 6:25 pm|
You mean, when we start listening to ourselves!!
January 26, 2014 3:48 am|
So beautifully expressed Shilpa. After my daughter was born I too went through postpartum depression as a result of anxiety and fear. It’s an awful experience to go through particularly when you walk that path alone.
February 4, 2014 6:32 pm|
Oh! You faced it too!! It must be so lonely to face all these vulnerabilities and fears alone! Hugs Suzy!
January 26, 2014 6:56 am|
Wow,Shilpa this a wonderful take on the post.It lays bare the bitter truth which many new mothers have to face.
February 4, 2014 6:32 pm|
Thanks Ma’am 🙂
January 26, 2014 8:21 am|
This post touched my very heart and core. While I was over the moon with my first, my son was a different story. Yes, I loved him and thought he hung the moon. I just didn’t understand why I could never make him happy. He always screamed bloody murder no matter what I did. I had a rough time with the c-section for him and lost a lot of blood as they tried to tie my tubes and stitch me up. They almost lost me, and him. But we made it. I was weakened and then he had colic. My husband was on the road and I couldn’t seem to do anything right. I finally called my doctor in tears and they urged me to come in and be seen. Seems my baby had colic and I had a severe case of post partum depression. I was 37 when I had my son and it was so much more harder on me than the first. You perfectly captured the feelings and emotions in this bit of fiction. Brilliantly done! ♥
February 4, 2014 6:34 pm|
Hugs, Kathy! Sad that you had to go through PPD all alone!! Glad that all this is past now! {{Hugs}} ♥
January 26, 2014 5:06 pm|
A moment very new mom goes through… nicely written! 🙂
February 4, 2014 6:34 pm|
Thanks Sheethal.
January 26, 2014 5:50 pm|
Great perspective, Shilpa. I’ve seen women so transformed due to post-partum depression – and most people don’t understand how they can be so ‘ungrateful’ for their babies!
Thanks for shedding light on something that needs to be talked about a lot more!
February 4, 2014 6:36 pm|
Thanks Corinne. Yes, PPD is something that is rarely talked about and so many women suffer all alone, and sometimes without knowing about it too!!
January 26, 2014 10:06 pm|
Guess everyone goes through this… It truly is a difficult phase. What memories you brought back Shilpa.
February 4, 2014 6:37 pm|
I didnt experience it but have seen a friend go through this depressive phase!
January 26, 2014 10:44 pm|
It is always a mixed feeling. one is happy , yet one is sad, for the fear of the future keeps on looming in front of the new mother. However,it just takes the cutest smile from her child to forget everything and happily face the challenges ahead.
Nothing is as rosy or cosy as it is made to look.
February 4, 2014 6:38 pm|
Yes, it is certainly not the way it is shown in baby products advertisements!! With time and experience, we learn and grow and put all the demons behind and learn to enjoy our kids! Thanks Rama for your inputs 🙂
January 27, 2014 10:42 am|
Just been there a year ago, though not the depression part…. thankfully, I had my mom and mom-in-law to support me and offer me guidance, so somehow I sailed through without much damage 🙂 Superbly written !!
February 4, 2014 6:39 pm|
Happy for you Sreeja. Stay blessed always! 🙂
January 27, 2014 11:57 am|
have experienced this though it was not worse enough to call for a professional help. The reason i believe for this atleast in my case is till then we were footloose and fancy free without any responsiblity. Now, we are responsible for the little one’s lives and its future. The very thought of responsiblility and the play of hormones sends many new moms into post partum dep. And yes, many of my friends have experienced this too.
February 4, 2014 6:40 pm|
True that! A baby is a big responsibility and life after a baby is such a contrast to our earlier carefree life!
January 27, 2014 11:25 pm|
Oh. This was something new to me. Probably I havent heard people speaking of it. Thanks for writing about it.
February 4, 2014 6:40 pm|
Happy to enlighten 😀
January 31, 2014 11:13 pm|
This is so beautiful, Shilpa, and love how you give respect to everyone. You are such a wonderful human being that your servant has felt your love and listened to signals that reached her.
Cheerz
February 4, 2014 6:41 pm|
Oh, this was a fiction, Vishal! 🙂