… The Emotionally Toxic People.
Yes, the people who under the garb of friends and relatives suck the life out of you. A chat or a meeting with them leave you drained and add so much of stress in your life.
- These are the people who are constantly complaining about everything.
- Their compliments somehow also take you a step down.
- They are fiercely competitive and are always trying to one up you.
- They are judgmental
- Giving unsolicited advice is their birth right.
- They can make you feel bad about anything.
- They gossip with you and then about you with others.
I sometimes wonder if they are our friends or enemies? Of course, they are not out rightly toxic, as they are subtly draining you and dragging you down. The truth is that all these unhealthy relationships do add stress, anxiety, hurt and even guilt in our life. They rob us of our happiness. And yes, negativity is contagious.
Removing them from our life is the best solution but somehow it is not possible always. But yes, limiting our interaction with such toxic people is in our hands. While we need people in our life, we certainly don’t need all of them. We need to let these emotionally toxic people go from our life, without feeling guilty.
We deserve to surround ourselves with people who accept us unconditionally, support us, encourage our ambitions and dreams, and make us feel happier simply being around them.
We deserve to be happy.
What are your experiences with emotionally toxic people? How do you cope with their behavior?
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56 Responses
I wonder wat makes these people so.. Is it their own unfulfilled life tht makes them bitter abt everything
I believe yes, their frustrations, their insecurities must be compelling them to act in such a toxic manner! 😐
Yes, interactions with some folks can be such a draining thing. And I agree it is not always possible to remove them from our lives. We just have to find a way to detach ourselves inwardly when being around such situations/individuals. Not easy, for sure. But I feel I must keep trying this. Thanks for this thoughtful post, Shilpa.
True, it is not at all easy to detach completely, considering they are family/friends. But we must for our own sanity. Thanks Beloo.
My mother was an emotionally toxic person. What I never knew until I was an adult was that her father (who passed before I was born) was an alcoholic. I wish I would have known earlier and that she would have been more willing to talk about him. When I was growing up, ‘good’ was never ‘good enough’.
A couple of my in-laws are toxic. Some are strong, loyal and incredibly giving. When we first moved to Kentucky, we got a dog for the kids (then all under 10) and the dog had puppies. My oldest (6 or 7 at the time) has an incredible heart for animals. We were sitting on Mamaw’s porch and this man said (knowing my son was behind him), ‘Y’all oughta put those puppies in a sack and take them down to the creek”. Apparently drowning puppies is funny on his planet. You know the saying, ‘if looks could kill’? Well, if they could, he would never have left the porch that day. As it was, I took the kids and went home.
Sad that you have experienced this from close quarters. I think what you did was right. We must find ways to protect ourselves from their unhealthy behaviors.
how true! i know a few of such people who are avoided by everybody and leads to more bitterness in them. it is indeed a vicious circle of darkness. The biggest loss is the loss of hope and optimism and by staying with such people, we are harming our own selves.
If they are avoided by everybody, hope it makes them realize the reason behind that. Sadly it is damaging and destroying mental peace of both the parties in the case you shared!
Yes I have come across people like these. Sometimes it is not possible to push them away. Like you said one has to limit one’s interaction with them.
Wish it was as simple as Ctrl+Alt+Del 😐
True Shilpa, I have begun to totally stay away from such people as much as I can 🙂
The best strategy to adopt, Sunila!
Oh I know some of those. ‘Their compliments somehow also take you a step down’ – that’s just so true. They have a knack to put you down while pretending to be friends. You’re right – we don’t deserve to have them in our lives.
It is just that they are jealous and envious of others. I wish people understand that their journey is their journey, and NOT a competition. But that realization rarely comes. True, we should banish such people from our life!
Good post, Shilpa. I think we’ve all had to deal with these types of toxic people at sometime in our lives. I’ve found the workplace bad over the years with the competitiveness and people not being authentic. Toxic people thrive in that environment.
It’s hard to cut out these people when they’re family. I’ve learned I have to establish boundaries such as unfriending a family member on Facebook so I wouldn’t give her more reasons to judge me. I felt guilty but it is rather freeing knowing she isn’t reading my posts.
Aah! Toxic people at workplace can truly make your life miserable because you have to work with them everyday for at least 8 hours or more! I had a toxic boss at work and I know how tough it was to work with her. Yes, limiting your interaction on social media is a wonderful thing to do. Thanks for sharing Cathy 🙂
stay away from negative people… nice post Shilpa 🙂
You bet!! Thanks Vartika. 🙂
Absolutely true! I try to stay away from such people, as much as it’s possible.
That’s the way it should be!
They are called frenemies Shilpa! 😀
Do what makes you happy and hang out with people who make you happy. That one mantra alone is enough to make life worth living!
Oh ya frenemies! Working towards that, Vidya 🙂
Limit your interaction with them, Shilpa. I find that has helped me immensely this past year. Hugs to you and don’t let a toxic person destroy your peace.
Hmmm…. ya, that should be the strategy! Thanks Shailaja 🙂
I’m not being rude, but as you said we need to kick all these people from our lives. Negative thoughts are more contagious than positive thoughts and we already have enough on our plate to be affected by someone else’s bad mood!
True that. Just as we wish to remove toxins from our food and body, peace of mind requires removal of toxic people from our daily experience.
oh man! yes!!
I was surrounded by such people when I first moved here and it was overwhelming and sad..
I learnt I had to let go and I did – though it made me the bad person.. it made me happier…
I loved that saying you have shared at the end. so very apt
You did it right, Pixie! Focus on taking care of yourself and move forward in life!
I never interact with such people. They should be avoided like the plague. It is true they can easily drain you of all good feelings, and make you as sick as themselves.
Since you have done Reiki, all you have to do is to put the symbols on yourself, and it protects you from their negativity, and other negative elements around you. It is not only people but we are surrounded by so many depressing things, and we can easily fall prey to any of them and ruin our day.
Thanks for the reminder for Reiki, Rama. Will do that from next time! ♥
But it’s so hard to show them the way out! Isn’t it? Loved the quote in the end!
It is tough but not impossible! 🙂
Well I too have met such people and I feel drained after meeting them. Since cutting them off completely is not possible, I try to reduce my interaction with them.
Best thing to do, Reema!
Dont let them pull you down to their level,they will bet you with experience (yeah its a saying for idiots but whats the difference? 🙂 )
PhenoMenon
Yes, we should emotionally “check out” with such people!
I cannot remove a few of these people from my life. But I stay away/avoid them as for as possible.
Agree, since we cant remove them from our life and can’t change their behavior too, the best we can do is to change our own attitude/behaviour!
How do I cope with those people?
If it is possible to keep away from them, i keep away. If it is not possible to keep away from them, i take a deep breath and ignore whatever they say.
Yes, tuning them out works best in such situations! Thanks for sharing, Asha!
I have had such experiences and being close relatives of was difficult to pluck them out of my life. They were bitter and their negative energy passed on to me as well. It was terrible. Now I try and not let myself get disturbed by what they say…it is difficult but I am getting there.
Great post Shilpa!
Oh yes, with family members it may be all the more difficult but glad that you are getting there, Aditi! Good luck to you! And thanks 🙂
I knew a few. Discarded them from my life. Like you said, we deserve to be happy. They made it impossible.
I know they are energy suckers and make your life truly miserable! Glad you did that, Red!
I stay far away from people who are always complaining. They disturb my aura, making it all murky. The thing we don;t realize is they drain us, without us even realizing it. You have put across your views brilliantly.
Well said! Their negativity rubs on us! Thanks Raj, glad you liked this post.
love the quote you ended with. And yes, life is too short to be wasted on toxic people.
True that! Thanks 🙂
Very well written. So rightly you have mentioned that we must be wary of such toxic people.
Thanks Ma’am. Yes, staying away is the only option they have left us with!
I have one such person in my life…no actually it is more than one!! and you are right, after a conversation with them, I feel pretty drained out too!! The conversation is always more than an hour long, and you are supposed to feel sorry for the messy lives they lead, for all the troubles that eating away at them…they can complain about almost anything and everything that touches them! sigh!
I can understand. They are like leeches who suck out happiness out of you! 🙁
These people are definitely not thinking about us; more about themselves! I try to keep away as much as possible from such personalities!
Oh that’s true. It’s all about them, them and them. Good that you stay away from such negativity!
The worst emotionally toxic people are those who start off being genuinely nice and helpful.
If one doesn’t realise that the person is emotionally toxic as well, one falls into the trap of befriending her/him.
While I am polite with everybody I meet, I have always taken my time to make friends. Barring rare exceptions, this has helped me avoid bringing emotionally toxic people into my life. Of course, I have to put up with relatives, co-workers, customers who are emotionally toxic. I limit my interaction with such people as far as possible, even risking being labelled as ‘rude’.
True. They are actually wolf in a sheep’s clothing! It takes a while to remove their mask and know of their malicious intents! Yes, limiting interaction with them is the key to bliss and peace of mind!