I met a friend after a long time and excitedly told her, “Hey! You have lost weight. You are looking great!”
She said, “Oh, that’s not true!”
I felt very awkward. Here, I was giving a genuine and sincere compliment to this lady and she didn’t accept it.
While I was mulling over her reaction, another incident flashed in front of me. I had congratulated a colleague for giving a fabulous presentation. And he had said, “Oh, it was nothing. Anybody could have done it!”
Both these incidents took me a few years down the memory lane. We were sitting in the office cafeteria and a senior colleague said something good about me in front of the whole team. I mumbled something under my breath and had a feeling that what I just heard was something outrageous and the earth should simply swallow me in. As I was recovering from the sudden rush of emotions, a friend whispered, “Learn to enjoy the spotlight!”
Fumbling, mumbling, feeling embarrassed or uneasy on hearing something good about us? Do they sound familiar? Well, all these episodes clearly show our inability to accept compliments!
Why do we feel uncomfortable on receiving some genuine praise or admiration? Why do we reject the positive vibes to come our way? Why we do not allow this positive energy to warm us up from inside?
While it is ok to be modest about our accomplishments, it is important to acknowledge the compliments we receive.
Not accepting a compliment graciously reflects bad not only on the receiver but also on the giver. As a receiver it signifies that we don’t value or recognise our talents or achievements and/or are suffering from low self esteem or are self-conscious. When we deny or reject the compliment, for the giver, it implies that his/her opinion was incorrect or that we don’t value his/her remark or we are doubting his/her sincerity.
All it takes is a simple ‘Thank you’ or a nice smile to accept a compliment graciously! Of course, one can explain more and add something positive to it.
Everybody likes a compliment. But generally, we underestimate the power of an honest compliment. A genuine compliment has the power to add smiles, give the motivation when we need the most and yes, it has the power to turn a life around. Why, Mark Twain even said, I can live for two months on a good compliment!!
So, go on give compliments and spread some cheer and smiles around and also accept that compliment graciously. Enjoy the spotlight!
How do you accept compliments?
26 Responses
Well said, Shilpa. It feels good for both the parties by accepting the compliment. I think I usually accept (more like snatch) the compliments coming in my way. 🙂
I went through a phase of finding it really hard to accept compliments. I think sometimes we are taught to not be proud and that it’s a bad thing…but if you think about it, we all put effort and why shouldn’t we accept a genuine compliment? I have learnt to accept them and say thank you even though several times, I do get embarrassed by the attention. 😀
I don’t do comments wells. Some of it is cultural conditioning of modesty and some is from the intimacy created by a compliment. Nonetheless, you are absolutely right. I’m visiting from the A to Z challenge. I like your blog.
I meant, I do not do compliments well. Lol, I looked the comment over for naught.
I too find it difficult to accept a compliment, sometimes I get suspicious as to why someone is complimenting me. Nowadays, I have learned to smile and graciously accept a compliment.
Destination Infinity
I am apprehensive depending upon the person. Some people do go over the top. Yet it takes nothing to smile and say thank you.
Oh I too find it very difficult to accept compliments… I feel embarrassed whereas I know I shouldn’t…And most people usually react this way..an interesting post really
What a great post!
I try to accept all compliments with a simple “thank you”. If I feel particularly pleased with something I’ve done and get a compliment it adds to my joy.
Though we should not look to others for validation there is something comforting in knowing we are valued by others. Sadly, some have a hard time expressing that in simple words.
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers, Jenny
2015 A to Z Challenge Ambassador
Twitter @PearsonReport
Blog PearsonReport
Well said Shilpa! I couldn’t have said it better…truly! I have nothing more to add…and that IS a sincere compliment! So enjoy it! 😉 I need to learn be more gracious in accepting compliments…thanks for the reminders. 🙂 <3
I love genuine compliments and accept them graciously with a “thank you”.
It feels great to receive a genuine compliment. I accept it with a smile and a thank you. 🙂 Nice post.
Compliments are wonderful and encourage us! 🙂 I’m always thrilled to get one and am quick to offer my own as well. Well said, Shilpa! 😀
Yes, it is difficult to accept compliments but we must learn it. I too have slowly learnt to accept them.
Many people have difficulty accepting complement gracefully. Same way, many people have difficulty accepting a gift gracefully. (They immediately think–how,when,where–of giving a return gift.)
It is decent to accept compliments with a polite ‘thank you” One can easily make out the difference between genuine compliments and flattery.
I would love to get as many complaints as I can…I enjoy every word..
Actually,so much depends upon who is complimenting. Husband to wife…Girl friend to her boy friend or so on.
With experience,I feel one must watch out for compliments coming from office colleagues…..each one is in a rat race.
😛 well said shipa! good lesson, I too have slowly learn to accept them.
Initially it was difficult for me to handle compliments….even now sometimes i find it difficult and deflect the topic….and sometimes, i say” really?..ok thank you” and walk away with a sheepish smile…. i still find it difficult to say ” Thank you” and i have also seen people fish for compliments and i hate that too.
I agree, but you are right. I have found myself even trying to argue with the person saying no…I am not. I do that. It sometimes takes real effort to simply smile and say thank you and enjoy the praise. It is so sad when folks don’t honestly believe they deserve the attention or the praise. That they don’t accept the fact that people would actually like them and want them to be happy. Geez, my daughter is going through this exact same thing with the boy she likes. Seriously…but then he finally texted her tanks…which she and I both think is kind of adorable. He actually thinks he is undeserving of any happiness or anything nice…which makes me wonder what in the world gave him THAT impression! This post really resonated with me today. The kid has issues and it makes my daughter sad for him, and I feel sorry for him…but it doesn’t make her like him less if that is what he assumed would happen. Anyways…off my soapbox. lol. I often think really? too, but then graciously say thank you and accept the warm and fuzzy feeling it gives me. ♥
I guess it’s the Asian mentality thatdictates us to be humble! I used to do the same but now I’m comfortable to smile and say thanks!
even I am someone who does not take compliments gracefully, many a times. Reading your post makes me realise both the aspects of an honest compliment & will definitely try to enjoy the spotlight each & every time. 🙂
But then, amongst all these, we will have to be able to differentiate between that genuine compliment & the hollow flatteries :/
I smile and say thank you. I lobve Mark Twain.
I find scolding more stressful, especailly when it’s not good harted.
I think most of us have been brought up to believe that it’s ladylike/gentlemanly to act ‘modest’ or ‘humble’.
I have no problem accepting compliments. Of course, I am quick to recognise insincere compliments!!
Enjoyed reading this post, Shilpa. There was a time in my life when I received no compliments at all. So now, I value every compliment that comes my way, thank the person with humility and sincerity and whenever I feel I want to give a compliment, I think through with my heart, make sure that it stems from a place of genuineness and then I convey it. Like you said, not everyone may be receptive…each to his/her own choice. What matters to me personally is how I am able to convey thoughts in a positive way, given the fact that I cannot alter what the other person chooses to say or perceive.
I love compliments shilpa and feel quite happy, only when its genuine, I had learnt to accept over a period of time…. in our culture there is a thinking, never to praise or compliment children directly, otherwise they will sit on our heads, which is sad, so most of the time, its not easy to get compliments, when we become adults there is still a hesitation and embarrassment and it becomes difficult to believe the compliment. thank you for sharing !!
I guess the problem is that its ingrained in us that accepting compliments is equivalent to being too proud or thinking too much about oneself. And that’s why we tend to reject even genuine compliments which we should actually accept.