Our family friends lost their 20-something son in a road accident, few years ago. For the parents, this harsh truth of life was difficult to come to terms to. Yes, life seemed so very unfair and cruel. Their struggle with sadness, anger, hurt, pain, grief, tears continued for some more years. They took the death of their child to heart and could not cope up with their loss and succumbed to heartache and illness. Sadness fills my heart, every time I think about them.
Are we ever prepared for such changes in our life? I guess not!
We may never completely get over the loss of a loved one. They will always be a part of our life. But in the course of time, we have to come to terms with the reality – whether it is a loss of a loved one or a loss of a relationship. We have to move on, howsoever difficult it may be or howsoever long it may take. And that’s because, there is a limit to the grieving that we can do. This makes me think about something we learnt in science years ago…when we add salt to a glass of water, there comes a point where the salt will not dissolve into the water no matter how long we mix the solution.
The loved and lost ones may always occupy a part of our broken heart which doesn’t heal back up to full. That’s perfectly acceptable and normal. It’s like having a badly hurting ankle that never heals completely, and that still pains when we dance. But we dance anyway with a slight limp and the accompanying pain. What is important is learning to dance with the pain and accepting it without judgement.
Linking this to Write Tribe Festival of Words #4 Day 2 for the theme Creativity and Inspiration!
24 Responses
Creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin. There will come a time when we look at both in the same vein.
Destination Infinity
True, but it is something that is so hard to come to terms to!
It is very difficult to reconcile with the death of a loved one especially untimely. Eventually, we all move on but the grief and healing takes time.
It must be really tough. Yes, life goes on and one has to move on, though the pace and time may be different for different people! 🙁
It sure is scary thinking about losing a loved one, or living life without a loved one. Moving on can be equally tough, but there is nothing that we can really do except accept it, and move on, keeping the memory alive within our hearts, till the end of time.
You have summed it so aptly, Shilpa!
Well said, Shilpa. Grief is all consuming and you think your life is over when you lose a child. So sad about your friends losing their son. Losing our baby girl was devastating. It’s been 23 years and I still think of her but I’ve had to move on and keep going. Like you said, you hurt your ankle but you still dance with a limp. I am permanently changed as a result of the loss and am a different person now, in both good and bad ways. Good in that I have empathy for those who suffer loss and bad in that I’m more cynical and have lowered my expectations for good things to happen since I know how it can all get taken away so easily.
I am so sorry for your loss, Cat! Loss of a child can be so traumatic. I know what you mean, such experiences change our perspective about everything around us. Hugs to you, Cathy! You are a strong woman!
Rightly said, “We have to move on, howsoever difficult it may be or howsoever long it may take. And that’s because, there is a limit to the grieving that we can do. ” I was devastated when my younger brother passed away four years back.It was and is tough to come to terms with the fact.But ,we all know life has to go on.A bitter lesson learnt-anything can happen anytime
I am truly sorry to know about the loss of your brother, Hema! It is so scary and sad to lose a loved one. Hugs to you!
Agree, it is important to value life and relationships. Stay blessed always!
Very true, and I loved that picture quote in the end.
That’s an inspiring post. Well said – It’s hard but that’s the only thing to do – move on..
So true. I’ve lost my son and then his sister.While I’m a fairly accepting person, every now and then sorrow overwhelms me. Thank you for this reminder that everyone needs to turn the page, while holding the love they read in their heart.
“Learning to dance with the pain” is the perfect analogy here. Everyone should grieve, but there comes a time when some semblance of a “normal” life must be resumed, otherwise one will descend into a morose pit of depression.
The post is an inspiring one. Many a times in life we have no other option than just moving on. And moving on does open new doors for us 🙂
So much truth in the post. I lost my father at a young age and the fear and loss still cripples the soul.But life just moves ahead with an iron fist.
I think a mother losing her child has got to be one of the hardest challenges in life: the pain may always stay (thinking of my mother as an example), though one must move on with their life (which she did of course). <3
Such losses are always difficult to bear, the pain stays for ever it seems. One can only hope that we find the strength to bear the burden of such pain. I like your reference to ‘dance with the pain’ at the end.
Moving on is so difficult yet so very important! Can’t imagine the loss of a near & dear one, not sure how to handle it really!
It is something very hard and cruel when life brings such a drastic incidence to someone especially in old age! I have known somebody too who lost their 30 year old only son!
It is hard to deal with the pain when you lose your beloved one, but moving on is the only thing that will keep you sane, however, moving on is harder!
Absolutely its important to move on.
Recently we lost my father-in-law and everyday I remind my mum-in-law that she has to move on for us. Though I know its the hardest thing to do to move on.
I know, it’s always difficult for the parents to lose a child but sometimes, one has no option to live with memory. I’d say never kills the person who are far away from us physically.
Shilpa, the loss of a near one is very painful indeed. With the passage of time the wound starts healing and the intensity of pain lessens..