Dear Pigs… errr I mean Pigeons
Hello. I am told that you and Doves belong to the same family of birds ie. Columbidae. Tell me, how is that your cousins Doves are the symbols of peace while you are labeled as terrorists! Yes, I am not mincing my words. You have terrorized us in our very homes.
Early in the morning, I open the door leading to the balcony to enjoy some fresh breeze, the peace and the tranquility around, with my mug of tea and newspaper in hand…. but lo and behold, all I see is you and your brethren sitting on the railings.
Seeing me come, you decide to give me a shock by collectively fluttering your wings madly coupled with that scary noise. Even though, I know the routine, still I am not able to train my body to be immune to your intimidating tactics and I shudder without fail and sometimes I let out a shriek and sometimes it is some spilled tea.
Do you know, how much I love watching the rains from the swing in my balcony? All that talk of smelling the wet earth after the rains has just become some words in the books. And it is all because of you. You have no manners and you poop around like crazies. The concoction of rains and your poop is so fatal that even my nasal hair cringe and singe.
I thought since you specialize in terrorizing us, you must be some pretty smart guys! But no, you refute my belief. By chance if the balcony door is open, you decide to explore our home. On seeing you inside our rooms, we are empathetic and close all the other doors and keep only the door to your freedom open and even guide you towards the exit with our ‘Shoo-Shoo’, but you are so dumb that you don’t understand our directions and cant find your way out.
And today was the limit. When I switched on the air conditioner in the guest room, it made some unusual whirring sounds. I went out to check and I saw a few remnants of your nest on the top of the AC body. I know that you make nests in the balcony and Krishna Bai regularly cleans you out of your home but what I saw today, after the AC mechanic opened the AC, filled me with awe and disgust at the same time.
Am I confusing you? Let me explain.
I felt awe for what I saw, because I believed that you certainly took lessons from the high-rise builders whose buildings you have occupied forcibly without any landlord-tenant agreement. You have learnt from them that the foundation of any home/building should be strong. I really admire the learning you have acquired.
I am disgusted that you chose my AC to practice that learning. While it is kind of ok for me to see you building your nest on top of the AC, it is certainly not acceptable that in order to implement your learning you give a strong foundation to your nest by adding so many sticks INSIDE the AC.
Yes, can you believe it that this is the amount of twigs and sticks that were taken out from the INSIDE of the AC!! While it is kind of shocking and I was seething with rage on imagining the possibility of my AC going kaput because of you filthy birds, and not to forget the hole in the pocket because of paying the AC mechanic, I was filled with admiration for you too.
I admire your perseverance in building a strong beautiful nest for yourself and your babies despite Krishna Bai sweeping away your nest from the top of the AC every other day!
So, I have learnt a lesson or two from you in perseverance and tenacity and love for your family etc etc, but I seriously suggest that let’s be strangers only, like earlier times. You making a home in my home is an intrusion and I condemn and abhor it, strongly.
Please GO AWAY!!
Miss you NOT
A resident of a high-rise building
Linking this to the Write Tribe’s Festival of Words
Day 4 – Prompt – Write a letter
Image Courtesy : Pixabay
34 Responses
You won’t believe it, I have so many pigeons in my balcony too & almost similar situation!
They don’t go away 🙁 though
Don’t be so polite next time (PLEASE go away…), something like “go to hell!” sounds much more convincing!
They make a mess here too, but first time I’m seeing them attempt an inner AC nest. Shoo them away. This ain’t no time for politeness :p
Hahaa.. Omg!! Terrorism inside your very home! Obnoxious birds! Our condolences as you repeat this again tomorrow ☺️
Loved reading this post.. You had me smiling throughout.
They make a lot of mess. we have put complete mesh to our balcony due to pigeons and so we miss good views from top floor. Even they bite the mesh and come inside sometimes.
Oh, dear! Somebody there is feeding those birds. They’re entirely too comfortable around humans.
My grandfather used to hate the things – called them rats with wings, as I recall. In Pennsylvania, they have pigeon shoots. We have mourning doves and grackles, and not so many pigeons here.
This was a fun letter to read, and I’m glad you’ve managed to keep your sense of humor.
Hahaha… enjoyed every bit of the letter… as if you were voicing my thoughts!
-Anagha From Team Mocktailmommies
https://mocktailmommies.blogspot.com
How did you manage those word – a reprimand so lovely. I do not have trouble from pigeons though. It is only owls or bats and when I say these owls scare me people around me say they are ‘Lakshmi Vahan’ . Can I do anything further, atleast you can scold the pigeons.
Pigeons are known for their tenacity and someone coined a phrase for them – flying roaches. I seriously agree with that. No matter what you do, these beings are undeterred and have adapyed to living in human buildings with ease. I HATE them too and have had quite a many altercations with them. All the best with them.
Hilarious post. I am still smiling 🙂 Your letter refreshed my memories of a stinking air conditioner filled with pigeon goo and twigs. The stench was nauseating. This is a super creative piece of writing.
He he he the poor pigeons must really love you. Enjoyed reading this post. We too had a lot of pigeon nest on top of our windows back home. I used to get so excited looking at them. I can imagine they can be a menace too.
Your letter was really fun to read…a very effective means of venting out the frustration caused by our feathered friends. I guess they r the very reason the bird nets industry is flourishing!!
Prasanna from Team Mocktailmommies
I am fed up of these pigeons. Here, there are a lot of people who feed the pigeons on the road. They all flock together. And when I pass from near them taking care to not hit them, all they do is flutter and come in front of my scooty. What a nuisance!
the kabootar menace irks me too. Especially the poop all around and the mad fluttering. Liked your unique letter, hopefully the kabootar gets the “sandesha” 🙂
Hahaha! Soulmate-o-mine! I did an entire post on the pigeon menace too Shilpa! I lose all sense of being kind and gentle to birds when I see these chaps. Totally dumb, messy, smelly, noisy…ughh, what’s there to like about them? Nest in the AC unit? That’s new. At my place they prefer the flower pots with plants!
I have a love-hate relationship with these birds. It’s more hate than love. They are stupid and yet so very determined. And they do create the lousiest of messes. Twice they’ve turned my balcony into a maternity ward.
Having a balcony and not being able to use it is my story of 3 years, thanks to the pigeons. The maid cleans the floor everyday but what do I do about the walls which they have painted all over with their shit. How did they do that? I am oblivious. Yet, all this is understandable but pigeons making nest inside the AC? How did they get inside it?
I enjoyed Ur post so much , wow how did u manage to write so beautifully on those pigeons n their poops, if I was asked to write so, I wud have failed, too good shilpa
An inner AC nest?! Hardworking birds. Last time at home, we had a rat who somehow got inside the AC. When night falls, this guy literally rans down up and down and chewing all those wires inside. He did burnt my pocket then. Luckily we don’t have any pigeons there.
Very similar situation here too, Shilpa! I can totally empathise with you on this one! 🙂
Wow…such talent.
But seriously i hope a solution for this menace appears soon enough
Oh how I hate them. You’ve said it all, so I shall spare them my fury on your page.
Hahaha… Too funny. My suggestion is… Get a cat. They love to hunt pigeons, so, your kabootars will go phurr, the minute they hear the cat purr.
This is funny but I can feel the underlying frustration!Well written!
This is too funny! And I can relate to it too, cause we have lots of pigeons in my area as well. But a nest inside your AC? Now this is something new!!
You need pest control guys, Shilpa :). Or a scarecrow to scare them away!
I completely agree with you. My daughter calls her AC the pigeons’ honeymoon spot. But what is worse is the nettingour awful building has put up to keep these ghastly creatures away and it only makes things worse .
How about getting a cat?
Ha ha in one of the homes we stayed they built a nest in the vent for the exhaust fan and you can imagine !
I had a similar situation. I taught my daughters how to feed pigeons by offering them grains. Within hours I had pigeons all over my balcony and would reappear every morning – just won’t go away. And all the mess, agghhhhh… I finally had to put a net around my balcony for few mo this to make sure they know this is not their house!
Pigeons can be nasty when they get together. And they seem to get into everything. There excrement can be toxic if inhaled during clean up.
I was smiling away 🙂 reading your post, it was light reading and very nice way of presenting a post. I have pigeons at my window in the work place and if I let them they will sit on my printer and I need to be alert by not letting them come in and sit. one flew inside my office room and hit the fan, hurt – I felt so sorry, called a bird lover and made her take care and shifted the pigeons place…. I liked the learning and thanks for inspiring!!
Mmm… unfortunately they come in search of food /shelter that we humans began to give them after we cut down their original homes in the woodlands… a good shoo everyday and a nice talking to should do the trick… love to you x barbara
HAHAHA……
This is the first time I am reading a blog… That talks to the pigeons with such feelings… i always thought of them to be very unharmful….
Lol. Really too good I have seen the whole story in my imagination while reading this blog.