My New Aspiration…A Conversation With My Inner Self

Me: I am thinking of becoming a….MISER!

Inner Self (IS): A miser eh??

Me: Yeah, would like to be one!

IS: Who is a Miser, as per you?

Me: Let me check, Wikipedia says a miser or cheapskate is a person who is reluctant to spend money, sometimes to the point of forgoing even basic comforts. Ok, I’d like to miss the second part. I want to live in comfort.

IS: Pretty strange. Nobody must be having this as an aspiration!!

Me: You are mistaken. There are scores of people who are and are proud to be one.

IS: Where exactly would you be reluctant to spend money, by the way?

Me: On people (other than my family and close very close friends)

IS: But what has led you to this?

Me: Oh, hundreds of experiences with people around.

IS: What exactly will you do being a miser?

Me: Oh, lots of things like:

  • At a restaurant, when with ‘friends’ will never take out my wallet/purse when ever its time to pay.
  • Or will declare that I forgot my wallet at home.
  • Or will finish my food ASAP and then do a vanishing act.
  • Will never invite people to my home.
  • In case, I do invite (once in a blue moon, which actually means once in 2.5 years!!), I will serve very little quantities of food and will serve the most economical veggie and dal of the season.
  • When serving drinks, I’d pour the smallest quantity possible and offer snacks in the smallest bowl available!
  • If somebody invites me for a party and says “No gifts, please, your presence is the only present we want!” I’d promptly and religiously follow the instruction!
  • If, I have to give a gift, I’d recycle the things that I have or will give the silliest and the Most economical gift. You know, I have 3 cartons full of them!!! Remember…Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!??
  • Will never pay the money that I owe to people.
  • Will never offer to use my car for the car pool.

And sure I’ll innovate some more things to do during the course of time!

IS: Will you be able to do all these cheap things??

Me: Ya, why not? If people can do it with a panache, why not me??

IS: Won’t you feel embarrassed or ashamed at what your ‘friends’ might think of your acts, after all nobody is a dimwit, and you can’t fool all of the people all of the time?

Me: WHO CARES!?!?!? Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

IS: But You Do Care! Don’t you know the three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring 
for others, sharing with others. There is no joy in possession without sharing.

So just Aspirate this weird Aspiration out of your head!

Me: Yes Boss!