Last week, a colleague’s cousin committed suicide. He was in Class X. There was immense pressure from school to take extra coaching classes which he was not keen on.
A few months ago, a teenage girl jumped onto the railway track and killed herself. Earlier in the day, police had ‘caught’ her along with her male friend in a public park and threatened to inform the parents. Instead of going home and talking to her parents about the incident, she decided to take her life instead.
Every few days, we get to hear about the tragic news of teens killing themselves.
Are parents, responsible for their child’s untimely death?
Pls share your views and thoughts on this new post at Parentous.
30 Responses
Shilpa,
Navigated, read the post and left my comment there.
Take care
Thank you so much Mr J for sharing your views! 🙂
To a good extent yes. There are misplaced ideas and fantasies that parents have.The child’s likes, aspirations, ambitions are not considered. Then the unscientific and convoluted academic curriculum adds to the demands and peer pressure.
It is always a dog fight to be like the jones next door.
Often the ask is too much for the young mind. When in the present day world even adults find it difficult to cope with demands of life it is cruelty and thoughtlessness to expect young to do so.
You are bang on, Anil. Parents who have unrealistic expectations of their children, academically, or in any other sphere of their lives, definitely ensure that the child’s mental, emotional and physical well being gets compromised sooner or later. The pressure to perform is so intense and on top of that if the channels of communication between the parents and the child works only one way then it is a sure shot recipe for disaster!
A very valuable post most needed at this time when people are pressurizing their kids for their board exams and entrance exams… Probably this will stop when the system changes or the parents mind… I too have written an analysis on the suicide of the students…
Thanks a lot, Hari, for sharing your views on this subject. You have shared very valid points. Parents trying to get their “unfinished business” or unfulfilled dreams achieved through their kids is a sad reality for some. These unrealistic goals and put immense pressure on the kid. Also, some parents believe in ‘if it was good for me, it’ll be good for you” attitude, not realizing there might be emotional or physical or even generation differences to consider. When the child has such huge expectations to fulfill, the fear of failure scares him. Counselling is needed for both the parents and the child in such cases.
nice article
thanks for sharing
You have chosen a very thought provoking topic. The children , specially the adolescents, are very delicate. Parents are to a great extent responsible for such a drastic step that the children take.We expect too much from the child.Specially when we compare them with other children, or even with siblings. the child is shaken.Some parents are always nagging the kids. Then there is peer pressure.
Thank you Ma’am. You have pointed some very valid reasons which could trouble young minds. As you rightly said, the adolescents are in a delicate phase of life and they need to handled with great care!
Very sad Shilpa! Life is much more beyond books and academics and also to pursue one’s own interest!!TSome parents raise expectations to unimaginable levels!! Best wishes for the New Year to you and your family!!
Absolutely! There is so much to life than following a set pattern of a certain career or certain grades! Best wishes to you and your family to Mr Bhatia 🙂
In my opinion,it is only the parents who are responsible for the state of affairs.
They rub it into kids mind of the compitition in studies,in sports in just any discipline in life .It is nothing but building pressure which always doesn’t work.
3Idiots must be shown to parents regularly
Well said, Mr Chowla! 3 Idiots is a perfect movie to understand about letting a child pursue what he loves doing and what can happen if the reverse is true!
Sometimes I feel sad that the children of today hardly get to live their childhood. If only more parents realized that their child is just that, a child…
Oh yes, running from one coaching class to another activity class… the pressure is too much on kids!
Good article SG.. but I think we are putting too much pressure on the kids ..
Bikram’s
Thank you Bikram 🙂
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Yes, sadly at times the circumstances are indeed the reason behind suicide(s) but I have seen many stories of kids threatening to end their life over small reasons like failed love, wishes not getting fulfilled on time etc etc.. and it is hard to make them see sense.
Ending life is not the solution to any problem and the kids need to understand that. Nothing in this life is so tragic that one feels the need to end it.
I read this in a book about Teenage suicides:
“How little the young value life, they who are so full of it. How little they have seen of death. They think it’s a mere pause in a drama, and they imagine the oppressing parents beating their breasts and wailing, and lost in that pleasure they never see the fall, the finality of one’s own vanishing.”
Well said, Karan! It is indeed so tragic that kids decide to end their lives over such trivial matters. Whatever happened to “keep trying till you succeed” or “Failures are part of life, learn from them…”
Killing Self is never a solution, Living sure is!!
And yes, wishing you a very happy new year. Sorry for all the late replies.. had been away to Bombay and Goa..
A very happy and a successful new year to you too, Karan!! Wow… Goa and Bombay… damn cool!! How were the trips!?!
Goa was super great.. went there for the first time.. and there was more to it then I could imagine.. Bombay was fine.. Had been there years ago.. and over the time read a lot about it.. but somehow it disappoints.. and suffocates.. not the dream city it once used to be.. have u been there ?
Goa was great.. was my first time there.. Bombay was fine.. had been there before.. but not a dream city anymore… have you been there ? goa u should must see.. i will tell u about all the nice places..
and how was your new year ??
That’s cool! Have been to Goa many times and well, we have stayed in Mumbai for 8 years!! 😀
Though we loved our stay in Mumbai but we can’t think of going there again.
Would love to know your stories from all the places you have visited!
You may check this post to know about my travel sojourns…. http://shilpaagarg.blogspot.in/2010/11/incredible-india.html
New year was cool rather warm in the comforts of the home with family and friends!! What about you??
hahaha.. man.. you are so lucky.. I should have instead taken some tips from you before leaving.. wow.. now I am thinking if I should modify my to-do list… so which was the best city for u ?? and one more question.. your second karwa chauth in kerala.. u said u were crying from inside… why ??
LOL 😀
Best city is Lucknow… A metro yet not a metro!
2nd Karvachauth… was traveling for work to Kerala… Husband was in Mumbai and I was in Kerala on this day… You know the process of the fast on karvachauth na?? 😀
I too wish to see Lucknow someday.. have you seen main meri patni aur woh.. a rajpal yadav epic… was shot in lucknow winters.. and the director did a wonderful job.. I am hoping to be there someday… still long way to go before I match up to your list 😛
2nd karvachauth would have been one big day spend in waiting for u 😉
Goa was great.. I stayed in panjim.. and went to all the beaches and shacks.. anjuna, baga, calingute… the place is great… but new year party was somehow filled with regrets.. I at times felt ashamed to be in a celebratory mood.. because of the Delhi and now India girl.. morally we are now too corrupt.. I can’t even say that it is how the life goes.. I might have had as well come back if I had not spend my year savings on the goa trip entirely non-refundable.. Drinking, travelling, meeting people, thinking is what all I did