Things are as they are, not as they should be!

Moving On to Start A New Life

Friends are family we choose for ourselves. Edna Buchanan

Yes, we chose X and Y as our family. We were blessed to have them in our life! Who knew that a chance meeting at the park would make them an integral part of our life! They were the among the best things that ever came in our lives.

Meeting them made us realize what true friends are. We connected so well, that sometimes I would pinch myself to believe it was true. We could count on each other. We’d rejoice in each other’s joys and victories. We knew each other’s stories and struggles.

And then it started changing… slowly at first. It was so slow that we didn’t realize it for a long time! Our friendship turned into a little bit of good and a little bit of bad. They were good to us a lot of time but would be mean, I mean oh-so-mean, sometimes! All this disturbed us but we forced ourselves to attribute it to the mood swings or ‘in the heat of the moment’ thing. We were surprised to find barbs in our conversation and I actually saw them looking not too happy when something good happened to us. How and when did it get this way?

While we were sad at the way our friendship took a turn, it was all the more difficult to live with somebody trying to pull us down or hell bent on putting salt on our bleeding wounds. Their acts on the sly made us sick to the stomach and tired to the bone. Their lies and back stabbing drained us out and never before we felt so trapped in a relationship. Repeated attempts to understand, sort, and ignore, failed.

Finally, a day came when a realization dawned. Yes, gracefully ending a difficult relationship might just be what the doctor ordered for us.

Yes, it was time to move on. It was time for a fresh start and leave all the hurt, negativity and past behind. It was time to distance ourselves and leave this toxic relationship once and for all. It was time to accept the ugly truth – yes, the truth that we can’t change the other person, but we can certainly change ourselves. It was time to let go of all the pointless drama, after all life is too short to be anything but happy!

It was not easy, initially. But then we deserved better. Today I am glad that that we decided to get out of that unhealthy and toxic relationship and we can see that it was for the best.

Sometimes life takes unexpected turns. Sometimes we hide the very core of our existence because we fear the judgment of others. Sometimes the universe shifts and we are provided with a brief moment to begin anew. These moments allow us to become fearless and let our perfectly created souls shine. Cori Garrison

It is a fact that it is never too late to #StartANewLife.

No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one! C. JoyBell C.

35 Responses

  1. I can completely relate to this scenario, Shilpa. Although it is not to do with a couple, it is most certainly to do with a relationship. Sad, but repeated attempts to soothe things over did not work. Until, finally, I decided it was time to gracefully let go. My time in the other person’s life was over as was their role in mine. Forgive, forget and move on. Glad you came to this decision, Shilpa. God bless.

    1. Glad you let go of a sad relationship too. Moving on is the best solution! Thanks Shailaja and GBY too 🙂

  2. It is always hard to distance yourself from people whom you thought were good friends. I’ve done that. And it hurts in the beginning. But it is always better to start a new life than live with one with negativity.

    1. Agree. It is tough initially but not impossible! And it is the best way forward in such relationships!

  3. I have been there too, Shilpa. I feel sometimes it is not meant to work out and it is best to move in. I have done that too and though it takes time I have let the negativity go as well.

    1. True, like somebody said, cry, forgive, learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness!

  4. I wish we could weed out a few relations just as we weed out such toxic friends. I know this feeling. Time heals for sure. To bring in new beginnings for us. Best wishes dear. Take care.

    1. Right. While it is easier to move on from toxic friends, toxic relatives is a bit difficult! But yes, not impossible! Thanks Jo and so good to see you here!! How are you doing?

  5. You did the right thing… There’s no use being in a relationship that hurts…I cut off from all my college friends, no acquaintances, for the same reason..Sometimes I feel bad but then I realize it’s for the best

    1. I know what you mean, Nabanita. They say, to let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.

  6. Letting go is the hardest thing especially when you have great memories. It takes strength and you had it, Shilpa. There’s no point putting up with unhappiness.

    1. True. Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for! Thanks Vidya!

  7. Hi, stopping by on my way down the A to Z Challenge list and just wanted to comment to say I think everyone gets those friendships that are harmful to them sooner or later. The important thing is recognising when you’re in one of those relationships and doing something about it. 🙂

    1. You are spot on! Recognizing the toxic relationships and acting on them is the key! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  8. Very difficult to drift away from people with whom we have shared nice memories, but then if they drain our energy, no point in sticking to such relationships. I have had some in my life too and the experience is so similar to yours. Initially it was tough, but then we learn to move on….

    Happy for you, Shilpa:)

    1. Aah! You have had such experiences too! True, no point in hanging on to such toxic relationships! Thanks Asha! 🙂

  9. It is always hard to close chapters but sometimes we need to do just that. Often we don;t even think about it and carry on forever is sad relationships that take no one nowhere. Cheers to new beginnings.

  10. Sometimes you have to cut yourself off completely from situations and people who keep bringing you down or who keep adding negativity to your life. I can understand it must have been a painful experience but you did the right thing by starting fresh.

    1. Well said, Beloo! Somebody has said it so rightly, relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together!

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