If We Were Having Coffee… 28th January
If we were having coffee, I’d wish you a hello and thank you for stopping by for a cup of coffee and some conversations here.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I am feeling crushed, overwhelmed and distressed. There’s a lot that is going on inside my head and I don’t know from where to start. Guess, starting from the beginning would be ideal. The thing is that we got to know some 10 days ago that Aaryan’s school friend D, killed himself. He was just 18. This news has shattered all of us. I feel sick to my stomach as tears fill my eyes every now and then. Aaryan is upset and keeps saying, he wouldn’t do such a thing. They were together in their boarding school for 6 years. He was a brilliant student both in academics and extra-curricular activities and was pursuing a professional course from a prestigious college. It’s kind of shocking that someone with so much potential is just…. gone.
Aaryan and 17 of his class mates traveled from all over the country to be there for his prayer meeting last weekend at Delhi. When he returned back home that night, I asked him about his trip and he said that it was the worst day ever. He shared that D’s parents are so devastated and their grief is so deep.
I don’t know how they’ll cope with this big loss. Children are supposed to outlive the parents and seeing your young kid go away is a trauma that will never go away, I guess.
If we were having coffee, I’d share that loss of such a young life has numbed me and a few questions keep reverberating in my head. How could he do that? What could have happened that led him to take this extreme step? What troubled him that he couldn’t find a solution and taking his life seemed the best option to him? Did he talk about his problem with anyone? I wish, he had. Because, if he had, someone would have showed him the light or offered him help and support that he needed so badly.
If we were having coffee, I’d share that wish we all realize that communicating with our family and friends is so important. Being connected to our loved ones, our community, and the world around us, is key to suicide prevention. I wish, people speak up, open their hearts, stay connected and stay positive. And above all, NEVER GIVE UP… because there is ALWAYS a way out!
If we were having coffee, I’d reiterate that it is our responsibility to look out for those who may be struggling and encourage them to tell their story in their own way, at their own pace. Offering a gentle word of support, compassion and empathy, listening in a non-judgmental way can make all the difference.So…Take a minute and change a life.
Why take a minute? Because taking a minute to observe and think can make a difference. Because conversations change lives. So, wherever you are, have that conversation that could save someone’s life.
If we were having coffee, I’d ask you to pray for D’s soul and keep his family and friends in your prayers.
Take care all of you and stay positive and connected always! ♥
January 28, 2020 4:01 pm|
Oh this is terrible. I cannot even begin to imagine what the parents must be going through, what would have tormented the child enough to push him to take this extreme step. You take care of Aryan. He must be shattered.
January 28, 2020 5:16 pm|
This is the worst of tragedies and as a parent I can barely look it in the eye. You want so much for your children and to think they were struggling and not to be aware of it is heartbreaking.
January 30, 2020 11:12 am|
Such a sad thing. My deepest condolences. One always think that people with success or potential are happy and content, but that’s not always the case and people hide their burdens so incredibly well. I agree we should always look out for each other.
January 28, 2020 5:19 pm|
This breaks my heart, I cannot even imagine what Aaryan, his friends and D’s parents must be going through. Suicide prevention is the need of the hour now.
May D’s soul rest in peace. I hope he’s found what he was looking for in death than in life.
January 28, 2020 5:36 pm|
Terrible! Yet not quite so rare! Such an unimaginable loss!
Conversations over coffee are missing these days, all are so hooked on to their phones! There is nothing more depressing than online peer pressure. The question of why is always going to nag the parents! Such sadness. Praying for strength for the family and friends!
January 28, 2020 5:49 pm|
God Bless D’s soul and his parents <3
January 28, 2020 9:29 pm|
If only… I think the befuddlement we all feel in a situation like this might give us the slightest clue to what was going through our loved one’s mind. The only difference being they cannot see or grasp for the light. And we will grasp at any shred of the light. And we are left questioning ourselves for not being able to notice, not being able to help, not being able to be there when we were most needed. If only… If only we can stop it from happening again. Prayers.
January 29, 2020 9:05 am|
Oh my God! Hugs, dear Shilpa!! I can imagine what you and Aaryan must be going through after hearing this but I cannot even imagine the extent of suffering that D’s family are facing right now. I am praying for D’s soul to rest in peace and that his family may find the strength to cope with this terrible devastating loss!
I wish we keep the channels of communication always open with our near and dear ones. You never know what people are going through inside. Suicide prevention was never so pressing as it is now. Hugs to you and Aaryan. I hope your boy finds the strength to cope with this shock.
January 29, 2020 6:30 pm|
That’s so difficult to even read. 🙁 May God give you all strength to get through this.
January 29, 2020 9:24 pm|
Oh my god! This is a terrible thing to happen to anyone. Unfortunately, teenage suicide is happening a lot lately, all over the world. Just last week I came to know that the daughter of a senior in my school committed suicide. She was just 15 years old. There was some discussion about this kid’s low marks in the recent exams and next thing she ended her life. I can’t even imagine how the parents are feeling. It’s difficult. We have to talk to our kids and scold them too when they need scolding but that doesn’t mean that this is the end of the world, that parents don’t love them, or that grades are everything. I try to have an open channel of communication with my kid always, but honestly, it is scary.
May D rest in peace and his family find the strength to cope with this devastating loss.
January 30, 2020 4:39 pm|
We cannot even begin to understand the level of grief that child’s parents are going through, and the trauma of the loss for all those who knew and loved him. I am very very sorry to hear this. It’s the kind of hurt that stays for a lifetime, whether or not we knew the person. My prayers are with the family. And a hug to your son. I am sorry he has to experience this. Hugs to you, Shilpa. Communication is so important. From the moment we send our children away to study, there’s always some fear in the corner of our hearts that needs constant reassuring.
January 31, 2020 12:09 pm|
Oh my shilpa this is bad news for me, in the last few weeks I have been meeting students mostly who have been feeling low and depressed, one student had planned to end her life in vizag beach and thanks be to God she was helped and I did what was best for the moment and still hoping and praying that she totally comes out of these situations… there are no words to comfort the parents of D. Young and no more.. suicide is preventable and its hurting to those around. Hope Aaryan is able to cope with this in his own way. I am glad he communicated with you his feelings, my prayers for you and your child, it is not easy to deal with these emotions. I have been feeling low too .. listening continuously .. . I took a short break as if felt it was affecting me.. . now back to normal:) Let us do our part where ever we are if we reach out to those around, or even connect them to right places for help would be great.
January 31, 2020 12:40 pm|
Hugs, Shilpa. I can’t begin to imagine how you feel, and much worse, Aaryan. It’s so hard for children these days, so much pressure and for parents too who have to keep watch over their kids – such a tug between giving them space and keeping them close.
May the soul of that young man rest in peace! Prayers for his family and friends. ♥
January 31, 2020 9:09 pm|
Oh My God! Take care…
February 1, 2020 11:14 am|
This is a heartbreaking post. Over the past several years, I’ve heard of many teenagers committing suicide and wonder what drives them to do it. Most of these kids are overachievers who seemingly have a wonderful life. What really does spur these kids to do such a thing? This is the worst thing a parent can face. And it is extremely troublesome for the friends too.
February 2, 2020 5:52 pm|
That is such sad news. The parents must have been so devasted. It is so important to talk to people who we trust about the things that bother us. Hope his parents find the strength to cope with the loss.
February 7, 2020 12:06 pm|
How awful to read about this Shilpa and I cant even imagine what your son is going through right now. Suicide is such a huge step and I often wonder at the strength it takes to go through with it. My heart goes out to his parents and pray for them to have strength to go through this.
Hugs to your son – am glad you are talking to him and making sure he is coping with this situation.
February 9, 2020 10:24 am|
Terrible to hear such news on the death of a young boy and how the loved ones are shaken. I try to put myself into the shoes of your son and such a terrible thing to see a friend killing self. We need to be empathetic to the young and listen to what they going through without judging. It matters more than anything.