A Question For You

We all have gone through tough times at some point of time in our lives… a bad relationship, a tough time at work, losing somebody we loved, an illness, a failure in a project, a betrayal, an accident…

These tough times can knock us down, demoralize us, frustrate us, depress us and make our life very stressful.

We may face these challenging times, for a few days, or few weeks or few months or may be years together!!

But of course, these tough phases never last forever. They do pass away and give way to the good and happy times, sooner or later and the cycle of life continues.

And when these tough times leave us, they enrich us with some lessons, they change us for better (or bitter?), they make us stronger…

My question to you today is “How do you cope up with the tough times, during the tough times?” Or in other words, how do you keep yourself sane or positive, during tough times? What strategies or methods you adopt during these tough times?

Let your thoughts and views flow….


Linking it to January 2014 Ultimate Blog Challenge and NaBloPoMo

To read posts by fellow friends and UBC and NaBloPoMo participants, click here Jairam, Kajal, Kathy, Michelle, Nabanita, Richa, Suzy Que, Sheethal. Yes, we can do we with some more cheering and support. :)

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41 thoughts on “A Question For You

  1. Tough times can drive us crazy. Few things I try is ‘Believe in destiny; Look at the big picture and know what a tiny thing we are in the vast expanse of the universe and realize that things will move, no matter what’. Do meditation , pray and try to keep calm. Look at those in worse situations and feel blessed for what we have or are.

  2. The recent tough and stormy times in my, rather our lives, brought a great change in our thinking. We realized even after all the prayers and faith that good things happen, its very important to accept things as they come in life. Trouble broods in when we resist this acceptance. Once the acceptance part is done, we learn to take things easily, the mind is at peace thinking that this is what is destined to happen.
    Then we can focus that calm mind to do positive things or channel it to do things to better our situation.
    Thanks for the question – it helped me to put into words what I’ve been feeling inside me.

  3. Tough times are important. If we always remain happy, we’ll develop the kind of ego that we’ll start hating ourselves. I am sure all of us have had our ‘I know everything in this world’ moments. Tough times are the foundations of any kind of (significant) learning. The kind of life lessons that we are able to absorb during tough times is more because we are all the more open to receive them.

    Destination Infinity

  4. That really made me think. I actually sit down and look at the problem from all angles. Is it solvable? I try to put in place strategies to help me cope with it. If it is work related, having an organized approach normally helps. If it is personal, again I go with writing pros and cons and then deciding how I must approach it.

  5. What a wonderful post Shilpa 🙂 and a fabulous question. What moves me to remain alright? Seriously that this too shall pass and perhaps this is part of god’s plan for me. I have started resorting to writing or thinking about writing too to wade off negativity..

    • I do this too Richa….I believe all that happens in our lives has a reason to it. We may not know it then, but ultimately we see how it changes the course of our lives. Whatever it is …it seems to pass. If happy days don’t stay then the gloomy ones won’t either 😀

  6. Tough times have been my constant companions and now I have begun to trust in them to teach me something new, precious and infinitely growth-oriented in my journey, as a spiritual person.

    But if I had to share what helps me to get over the truly turbulent times, it is this – prayer and meditation. When I talk about prayer, it isn’t mumbo jumbo or ritual. I open my heart out to God, spill out every little thing that matters to me at that point of time and say everything till my heart feels as light as a feather. This practice has worked wonders for me throughout my life because the answer manifests within a very short span of time.

    The other thing that has helped me is meditation. To keep the mind calm and still when you are undergo tremendous pain or pressure or emotional upheaval isn’t easy but when you start meditation by focusing solely on the breath, you actually calm yourself down and in the process, you slowly let go of the things that worried you and you begin to naturally feel a balance, a poise return to yourself, bringing with it – a sense of understanding the bigger picture that lies ahead. You may not sense the immediate answer but the answer will unfold exactly when you need it. This is hard to explain but I have experienced the serenity one can savor through meditation during emotional upheavals or disturbances.

  7. Nothing really helps, except for one day you wake up and say fine. Let’s see what we can do about this. No amount of “deciding” to stay positive helps. But my most tried tested and most helpful method is to get so tired that you don’t have the time to deal with the emotionally tough situation. Not saying it’s the best, but it helps.

  8. What a question! I am reading the comments and seems people have varied ways to combat troubles. For me…well…

    You know how we look at things really close and gradually how our vision blurs…and then as we start distancing from it, it becomes clearer. That’s how I deal with my issues. If I keep scrutinizing things too closely they become even more dense than they already are. But if I pull myself a bit away, then I can see things clearly and am in a much better position to decide for myself.

    This is the mantra which I give all my friends and that’s what I share here for you.

    Hope this helps! 😀

    Take care <3

  9. Tough times are part of life. Sometimes when life is pushing me down real hard, I have no clue whether my efforts will bear result or not. But one thing I’ve learned is that if you are true to yourself, and keep on doing what you feel is right, you’ll sail through. And the good thing about life is that it goes on…. 🙂

  10. I don’t know how… but I always compare my problems with several others. Whenever there is a depressing phase, I think of that man in a wheelchair or that woman living on the streets. Our problem, however big it may be, is always smaller than someone else’s. And that gives me strength to challenge myself to get up and get going.

  11. How do I cope during tough time? I do a few things. I never give up and cry. Always planning and implementing things to get out of the tough time/situation. Always think that this is only a passing cloud. Another secret only my wife and kids know. I pray God to help me get out of the tough time. Whether there is a God or not, at least this gives me peace of mind.

  12. Through tough times I rely on God. I put it all in God’s hands asking Him to help me get through and have strength. I worry and fret, and then finally feel His strength flow through me. Then I pull up my big girl panties and get on with it taking each day at a time with determination because in the end I don’t have a choice but to ride it out. ♥

  13. Hmmm lets see, I try to take stock and think logically and go about life all the while praying for courage and wisdom. It is always easier to advice others that this too shall pass but the heart doesn’t work that way, it keeps going back to feeling lost and confused and at such times a prayer helps calm my mind and then it is easier to face the challenges of life with hope at heart and plans in mind 🙂

  14. I get rid of people / thoughts – who/ which fill negativity in me.If they still cling on to me like a rash I need strong dose of treatments like focusing too much on me (even if it seems selfish at times), read books and write of course. Earlier I used to think some one some day will come to rescue and fill me with positivity till brim but 2013 being a great learning year I realised no one other than me can help myself !
    WRITING is my biggest mantra and writing about memories(good) and good old days is a sure shot cure

    Take care
    hav fun 😀

  15. Loved the question you have posed and like you have said tough times don’t last but tough people do.

    For me my faith in god and meditation helps. When i encounter a problem, i tell god to handle and i know my problem is in safe hands. Faith i believe can move mountains. and as a spiritual person, meditation is my other anchor. I meditate daily. i believe Life’s greatest setbacks reveal life’s biggest opportunities. I even motivate people around me with such words. I want to write more, i will do it as a post:) Thanks for helping me introspect..

  16. I fret and fume over it for a little while. But of late, I just seek out that one person with whom even a 5 minute chat makes me feel better. Deciding to stay positive is not really much of help since you usually need someone else to help you retain the positive energy. Great question Shilpa 🙂

  17. It is 9 10 PM Monday Night. LG is making Phulka. This is my second glass of Merlot. Since nothing else to do until dinner, I decided to do some analysis. So far, you have 19 comments. You have 10 responses that used the word God and/or Pray. I did not double count those who used both words. (Analyzing anything comes with the profession. HaHaHa.)

    • Wow! That’s a quick analysis. Could you help me with some more?? 😛 I am going to do a analysis/compilation/summation post out all these thoughts shared in a day or so!! 🙂

  18. I try venting it out to near ones like my husband or the close friends. If in real trouble, I end up crying, and then it stimulates the inner me, which then tells me to relax, no use of crying, move on, everything happens for a reason..get up and start doing. etc..

    I try writing either in blog or in personal diary depending on where its suited..

    Once the first step of wiping tears is done, then I rely on cues, words from internet or tv or friends, or Amma to focus attention on the next step..

    I feel its just like tripping on the road…

  19. Wow! That made me think! I vent myself out to either my husband or mom. They are the two people I go to whenever I am upset or seek answers. Venting out has always helped in my case. I think more rationally when I speak to R or mom and discuss with either of them whatever it is that bothers me.

  20. There is no other option except to face the tough times quietly …. Apni baat kuch is tarah se kehta hu :- Woh path ( Path /Rasta) Kya ..woh pathik hi kya jiski raah mein bikhre shool (Thorns) na ho … woh navik ki khushalta kya jab tak dharaein praticool na ho … ….. The answer lies in Endurance … Sirf sehna hain aur chalte jana hain …

  21. A question that is not easy to answer.. but one that we should always to help ourselves and others … “This too shall pass” is something I keep telling myself and the conviction to believe that comes from faith. Having faith in the lord above, that whatever he does is for a reason. Another thing I keep telling myself is that, he wouldn’t have put me through this had he not known I could cope with it. Always believe that you can copy with the lows you are going through, you will find a lot of inner strength when you do so..
    Finally I write… because it helps me find peace…

  22. Every person has different experiences and scenarios, Till Back few years I was a too emotional and very sensitive in nature and I really thank all the people who gave me tough time which has helped me get stronger.. My Mantra which helped me to move on is :: When I am upset and things goes really bad and don’t see any solution to fix it, I have started reacting more rational to the problem and boldly tell myself that I love myself and nothing can put me down. Iam strong enough to handle it practically rather getting emotional and start ignoring the situation as much as I can ( which is really tough to practice it) and keep telling myself this is a lesson where you are learning and will definitely help me grow stronger for a better future.
    I Divert myself doing yoga, painting, watch Tom and Jerry shows which makes me feel good and also teaches me to fight back more confidently. I recollect all the best memories and spend good time with my mother and get the 🙂 🙂 back on my face ( but I don’t share my problems with anyone now, Its our life and our problem so after all we must know, how to make the life more worthwhile and live to the fullest). This is a different me altogether whom I see now.

    Thank you for giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts!

  23. I find it very difficult to deal with tough times coz may be I am not well equipped. I lose my sanity and lose my confidence as a person. What works for me is the support of family, friends and well wishers. What I need is encouraging words to boost my morale.

  24. I dont know how I learnt to handle such situations. I try not over-reacting to it and not projecting it in a more complicated way than it already is. I try not thinking too much about it and force myself not to get into that dull state of mind. I try and find out if there is a solution, if not I learn to wait for it patiently. If it is the consequence of my mistake, I would try and learn how I could have handled things differently.

    I always believe in the thought ‘Every thing happens for a good reason.’ So I let those thoughts rest and start wondering what good can come out of it till it actually does.

  25. I try to solve my problem first. If there is grief – I deal with it by crying it out.
    And ofcourse prayers help a lot. I have very strong belief in the Good Lord. And I take solace in prayers. 🙂

  26. spiritual practices, deep breathing techniques, meditation and prayer. If this is a part of our daily living… Only then it helps us effortlessly during the time of adversity.
    Forcing myself to change the place (source of problem) and move out for a break…. Traveling, shopping, spa, ayurveda! Depending upon the time in hand.
    Listening to bhajans or the extremes of it… Total tharki songs like aunti police bula legi. Helps to divert!
    Keeping a busy n hectic schedule. A tired body sleeps well. A busy person thinks less.
    Food: is the best leveler! I treat myself with super delicious something and the spirits r immediately uplifted! 😉
    Realizing that there’s a problem that needs to b solved is the first step to achieving a way out. I face the problem bull by it’s horns. If required blow up the misery take it to it’s maximum… Go through the intense chaos to speed up the process, hence more time to heal. 🙂
    Tip: If you are amidst a chaos or difficulty, force yourself to go out n reach someone who needs help! However difficult initially but the only way to solve your own problem is by helping someone else struggling.

  27. Tough times are like sky-diving without a hope of the parachute opening. But the parachute does open when even the last straw of hope is lost. Yes they may make you better or bitter but they leave one wiser. very though provoking post.

  28. Earlier during tough times i used to get into my shell. But nowadays, I see it from a third perspective, look at the humour or the tragedy and learn from it. Then I grow out of it. Else, there is somebody special(not a psychiatrist :P) to talk to, if all that does not works.

  29. A prayer to God to give me strength to get through the tough times and then these 2 quotes keep me going .. This too shall pass and Everything is as it should be. Not saying it’s easy to get through but we do have a choice to play victim or just knuckle down and get through it.

  30. “This too shall pass.” I keep repeating to myself and scribble down the bad moments and strike them off till the page tears off. Definitely helps me most of the time.

  31. I have handled quite a few tough situations in my life. My mantra is determination and faith in myself to get over it by hook or crook. I inspire myself to be positive and things automatically get solved. I was not like this in the early stages of my life, however, I soon understood the trick to be happy with lots of reading good books, and of course Reiki too. For me Reiki has been my best friend all the time, it is answering all my questions all the time.
    It is my faith in myself that has made me the person I am today.

  32. Easier said than done. Once I accept it, I leave it to destiny. The thought that This too shall pass, along with prayers is what helps.
    Read all the comments and gained a lot. Thanks for this post Shilpa.

  33. I talk!!! That’s my way out of tough times, depression and anger. And I have some friends to whom I could vent out my frustration…. so they are my escape route….

    Loved your question… something so relevant! 🙂

  34. I’ve learned to be calm…but only after going through a series of tough times that looked insurmountable at the time. Experience teaches us many things. One thing I learned at an early age was – worrying is never a solution. I am tuned to assess the situation and start thinking of solution. I confess that I rely a lot on prayer. I also keep an open mind.

  35. Pretty rude and callous it would be to quote the cliché, “if you cannot avoid rape lie back and enjoy it”. Though not literally, it makes sense in this context.
    Easy way out is to intoxicate oneself in tough times, either with spirit or with spiritualism. And the entire mambo jumbo.
    Persevere, that is the only way out and or forward. It is easier said than done. But I understand that the best option to tide over is to hang on and swim it out. Tough it is.

  36. Tough times?
    That is a realty of life.
    I went through a tough phase seven years back on health grounds.
    With support of my family,especially my wife,I came out of it a winner.

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