What Happens When You’re Married for 20 Years!

This day, 20 years ago, KG and I, tied the proverbial knot. OMG! We have been married for 20 years!! 20 YEARS!?!ShowImage

No, I am not going to say, “It was just yesterday or that I married by best friend” or “I’d choose him in a hundred lifetimes.” Nah! Not me. I think, these words are perfect for Facebook updates. Oh, don’t get me wrong, we have had a pretty interesting and eventful marriage, so far. Touchwood! I won’t say all those things because I just prefer to avoid flowery and sentimental language. Yeah, that’s the real me.

Today morning, just like every other day, after having our customary tea together, KG and I got busy in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. Aaryan, our 15 year old joined us too. While, KG was making those perfect crispy dosas and Aaryan was shelling peas, I was doing something equally mundane.

Yeah, I agree with you, both KG and AG are poster-boys for domesticated men. It’s been a lot of hard work, but am truly glad to see that all my nagging and cajoling has paid off.

While I am talking about my boys who are a great help with housework, let me share something which I realized a few days ago. You know, there are quite a few things that I have never done in these 20 years of our marriage and making dosas is one of them. My love for South Indian food is legendary and we make dosas pretty frequently at home. And can you believe that I have never made them on my own, not even once. KG makes them, ALWAYS!! And this realization is making my heart go all awww!!

Aah! How much I have digressed. So where were we? Yeah, in the kitchen! So, as KG was spreading the dosa batter on the pan, I told him, “I want a special gift from you today!”

Engrossed with his dosa, he asked nonchalantly, “What do you want?”

As a smile of an imminent victory was beginning to take some shape on my face and words were just about to gush out of my mouth, when he quickly said, “I am not giving you that.”

I should have had that expression of consternation or annoyance for he just dashed my hopes. But no, nothing of that sort happened for we both burst out laughing as Aaryan looked at us with confusion and dismay.

This is what 20 years of marriage does to you. You know each other so well that sometimes you can second guess what the other person is thinking and can finish each other’s sentences. I have lost the count of the number of times we both started to say the exact same thing at the exact same time. It’s like we can read each other’s minds. We know what the other person is going to say.Though, there are times when we just don’t understand each other. The earlier fuming and fretting over the differences has led way to understanding and respect for each other’s individuality.

Yes, that’s what 20 years of marriage does to you.

Oh, by the way, I was asking KG to quit smoking. I am pretty passionate about him chucking that stick and he is equally passionate about smoking that darn stick. *Sigh*

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31 thoughts on “What Happens When You’re Married for 20 Years!

  1. Happy 20th to KG and you!
    Such a beautiful personal post and glad you shared what were you going to ask. I got so curious reading the post that I really wanted to scroll and read if you had shared 😉
    Love is like that. I call it comfort in company 🙂 God bless you both with many more. Hugs!
    Parul Thakur recently posted…Can you name the flower?My Profile

  2. Lovely post!
    I was married about 20 years when my husband stopped smoking but he did it for his health, nothing I had said. Has to be their own decision. Happy anniversary and may you have many more.

  3. Congratulations Shilpa to you & KG! They say the first 20 years are the hardest 🙂 ! Downhill all the way from now on! (Downhill as in the ride is easier).

    Thanks for this lovely post – can you pop over and show the men in my life how to load a dishwasher? Do yours?
    susan scott recently posted…Birthing and Black SwansMy Profile

  4. Lovely post, Shilpa. We too celebrated out 20th last Dec and I totally get it when you say how you can read each other’s minds! I can relate to that so very well. There’s a certain sense of comradeship and companionship that comes from knowing someone so well. But, tell me the secret to how you got the boys so hands-on with the chores. I’m faring rather poorly on that front. Please share your tips on how to tame the men into domesticated ones. I’m definitely waiting for that one

  5. Congratulations and happy anniversary to both of you. So much similarity between you and us. The only difference is we have 2 children. Like me, KG will also quit smoking soon “cold turkey”.
    SG recently posted…Indian IngenuityMy Profile

  6. “And can you believe that I have never made them on my own, not even once. KG makes them, ALWAYS!! And this realization is making my heart go all awww!!”
    I had a wide smile on my face all along going through the post…

    Yes saying similar things reading each others minds has happened a lot with my brother and now with my husband as well. It feels that some major identity stealing is happening around and we rant and laugh on it.
    Reading each and every word of yours was a treat.
    Many many congratulations to you both for completing 20 years. ❤
    Elixired recently posted…Evenings over the frozen lakeMy Profile

  7. A very Happy Anniversary to you! Such a heartfelt, beautiful post it is. I was gonna ask you in the comments what were gonna ask your husband… sure you know your readers minds!
    20 years is a long time and what you have with your husband, sure is going to be relationship goals for many of us!

    God bless you both!

    Geets recently posted…#Valentine’sSpecialMy Profile

  8. Congratulations for your 20 years of togetherness, Shilpa! May god bless you both with great health and loads of happiness!
    That was such a heartwarming post…so cute…in short! 🙂
    I liked it how you have trained your boys. .It must have taken a lot of efforts, no? 😉 Hehe..but that’s what’s marriage is all about.. isnt it? And that’s what marriage does to two people after so many years. You become extensions of each other. May this love stay alive for years to come!

  9. Wow..20 years feels so great! We will complete 10 next month and I feel so proud about it too. So agree that after so many years of togetherness the familiarity is comforting and even feels romantic. Wishing you both many many more lovely years together!
    Uma recently posted…Why I root for the underdog?My Profile

  10. Happy anniversary Shilpa!! 20 years is such a long time! Wishing you both many more years of days together filled with happiness 🙂 Every time we make Dosa at home, it is same situation here 0 always my husband makes them, That’s quite a coincidence there 😀

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