Things are as they are, not as they should be!

The World Is Yours?

I am delighted to welcome, Corinne Rodrigues on my blog, today. If I were to describe Corinne in one word, it will be… Inspiring! Her writings, which are words of wisdom from regular events of everyday life, reflect that.
Please join me in welcoming Corinne to my space here and I hope you enjoy her thought provoking and inspiring post as much as I do.
Over to Corinne…

Last week, we heard a woman screaming out a string of insults at the workers in the apartment opposite ours. As we listened closer, we realized it was a neighbour from upstairs, calling the workers ‘animals’ etc. Their crime? They were doing their work – breaking the plaster prior to painting. Her reason for being upset? She couldn’t sleep in the afternoon. My husband had to remind her that the whole building had suffered similar discomfort when the work in her flat (and subsequently ours) went on. And the workers in her flat worked late into the night. She argued that her workers didn’t make that much of a noise! How would she know – she didn’t live here at the time. But in her mind she was entitled to her afternoon nap and how dare anyone disturb her!

Later that evening as I went for a walk, I kept almost bumping into people who while walking on the busy roads just had to keep looking at their mobile phones. It didn’t matter that people coming in the opposite direction had to move into traffic to avoid them – it was their phone and their time and they were entitled to do that – no apologies needed!

A sense of entitlement is described an unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable treatment at the hands of others.

It’s easy to say that this type of behaviour is typical of the Generation Y or the Millennials. Why, we even think it’s typical of dogs these days! πŸ˜‰

16 CanineEntitlementSML

But seriously I’ve seen this attitude across different age groups, backgrounds and professions. When the passenger next to you in the airplane thinks it’s his right to keeping buzzing for the airhostess for no reason at all, or the your colleague regularly expects you to complete their work, or the neighbour thinks it’s okay to leave his garbage outside the door and have the cats make a mess, or when you’re walking down the street and someone throws a used can out of their car, or when a celebrity commits a crime and expects to be let off lightly, then you know that a sense of entitlement is alive and well! Sadly, so.

What makes people feel this way? I think it’s pretty simple. It’s a basic lack of empathy towards others. When life becomes all about ourselves and our needs, then the feelings of others get trampled upon.

We can’t change the behaviour of other people. But we can certainly check our own. We can work on looking at things from the other’s point of view and cultivating empathy within ourselves. When we go out of ourselves and realize how much other people suffer, then we can begin to be empathetic.

And if you are in a relationship/s where others are taking advantage of you or exercising their sense of entitlement, make sure you take care of your own needs while taking care of theirs. Also, think before you make commitments and don’t feel pressured to give into their demands.

While I was thinking about this post on my evening walk the other day I saw this : 0212tumblr_myymb0NVBU1r3jsrko1_500

Picture credits: Cartoon Wall in Bandra

Linking it to January 2014 Ultimate Blog Challenge and NaBloPoMo

To read posts by fellow friends and UBC and NaBloPoMo participants, click here Jairam,Β Kajal, Kathy, Michelle, Nabanita, Richa, Suzy Que, Sheethal. Yes, we can do we with some more cheering and support. :)

36 Responses

  1. You know I find people saying that gen Y & millennials have this sense of entitlement. Being from that generation, I find that Yes we do have that sense. And we also take responsibility to change the world towards a better future. We are more emphatic than the older generation to the community as a whole not being limited to family or ones old culture. πŸ˜›

    1. Praveen, like I said, it’s not confined to any one generation and I agree with you that there is a lot more awareness about social causes among people of your generation – thank God!

  2. I guess this is very normal, especially with many people who consider themselves as ‘upper class’. It is also common with people who get a lot of money suddenly.

    I think, they are just giving back what they get. Since they get it from others (whom they consider superior to themselves), they give it to people (whom they consider inferior). The worst part is, they think their actions are justified!

    And this cycle continues across sectors. Sadly, this is the basis of our corporate/organizational culture and it is only spreading everywhere else.

    Destination Infinity

    1. I’m not sure I agree, exactly about people giving back what they get. It’s people across all spectrum being insensitive to the needs of others. And like you said, sadly it’s rampant in corporates and other organizations.

  3. Shilpa Gargο»Ώ and Corinne Rodriguesο»Ώ, Thoroughly enjoyed your post. It is a matter very close to my heart. More than even empathy, I think so many of us lack basic CONSIDERATION. You don’t need to sympathise or empathise with someone when they have been in tragic circumstances. I think all of us are fighting a struggle with our lives. Everyone. So it necessitates some basic consideration – don’t do to others what you do not wish to be done to yourself! I remembered a story on consideration and I am going to post it. Thanks for a good read.

  4. The sense of entitlement is well alive and thriving and see no sign of abating. It’s rightly said the world is ours , the responsibility is to be shared rather than shrug off the blame.

  5. Why do they feel so? This issue of being entitled to a certain privilege which is surely going to kill someone else’s ? I believe it has more to do with the fact that we are now consumers. We have a price and feature list my friend. We are sold to our demands. And this has overflown into our day to day life..

  6. Some people consider it their right to enjoy “entitlement” with what is common property. I guess they are convinced they deserve it. We have a similar situation when kids play on the terrace, the third floor people yell at them. When they play in the ground floor, then those living near that area scold them.

    But then entitlement is a disease that afflicts people online, too! πŸ™‚ Empathy is a tough quality to see. People find it easier to criticize than be kind.

    Thought provoking post, Corinne! What a pleasure to see you here. Thank you Shilpa!

    1. Oh yes, we’ve had similar problems with the few kids in the building – how people forget that there are hardly any playgrounds and they do need to play!
      Entitlement online? Hmmmm….I could write a book on that subject!

  7. I agree, Corinne, that the sense of entitlement is rampant in society; I saw too much of it when I taught school. πŸ™ However, on the bright side, especially here in the southern United States, manners and courtesy toward others is still held in high esteem. Rudeness just doesn’t cut it in most Southern circles.
    Great post, my friend!

    1. Oh Martha, I love reading books and interacting with you Southern folk. I always have a smile when I’m address as Ms Corinne. I think there’s so much to be said for such genteel ways! πŸ™‚

  8. You are absolutely right! What’s with that false sense of entitlement?!
    People are rude and have stopped caring about their surroundings.
    Manners – a simple thank you or a sorry have disappeared. It’s so sad really.
    Beautiful post Corinne πŸ™‚

  9. Very true!! And here I was, thinking it was just Mothers in Law with an in built sense of entitlement! Some parents also raise their kids like that, especially males, so that they grow up expecting every one to yield to their every whim, a classic example of which is the sick saying, ‘boys will be boys’ 😑

  10. Experiencing other people’s emotion as our own as well as taking care of our own emotions will make us survive in today’s world satisfactorily…
    Let’s hope best out of our Promising Generation…
    Very well said, Corinne

  11. Very true that we can only do something about our own behavior. Sometimes peoples sense of entitlement is so rude!! Especially in the situations you described. If only people would simply think of others and strive to not be so rude…the world would be such a happier place! Great points!! β™₯

  12. Glad to read you, Corinne, I have read much about you in online forums and have subscribed to write tribe on FB.

    As an apartment dweller, even I go through similar situations. The person who stays above me puts her clothes on the clothesline and the water drips till the ground floor, some maids happily throw the dust from their dust pans. A ceramic plate fell from 7th floor on a person who was walking below in the pathway and it hit his head with a force. The man ended with 7 stitches. A callous attitude by people saying ‘Its my world”, “It’s my flat”, “I will do what I want”, “this is my wish” etc., has negative effects on the society.

    Like you say, We have to be the change.

    A small change by us can cause a similar change nearby , which then causes another similar change and it will continue like Domino’s effect.

    Quoting Gandhiji” Be the change that you wish to see in the world”
    Thank you, Shilpa.

  13. When two outstanding brains join, the result is bound to be extraordinary. I mean the combination of Corinne and Shilpa!! The post is brilliant and timely. People are becoming so selfish that they want their own comforts and not the least concerned about others. People are forgetting the basic rules of courtesy.I am reminded of the lines of a poem,”and much it pains my heart to see, what man has made of man”.(I forgot the name of the poet)

  14. “When life becomes all about ourselves and our needs, then the feelings of others get trampled upon.”

    “We can’t change the behaviour of other people. But we can certainly check our own. We can work on looking at things from the other’s point of view and cultivating empathy within ourselves.”

    Those words say it all. πŸ™‚

  15. I think entitlement should always be accompanied by humility.. The lack of the latter will give rise to all those issues you mentioned above… and the presence of it, will make you acknowledge, understand and accept what is around, in other words it will help you empathize…. that was indeed a thought provoking view Corinne πŸ™‚

  16. Hi Corinne. Thank you so much for being here and sharing such a thought provoking post. I am enjoying the conversations here. πŸ™‚ Thanks again β™₯

  17. I don’t actually limit it to the Gen now ~ although it’s kind of more visible these days. I found this sense of entitlement soon enough when I left the convent. I expected people around me to treat me in such a ‘holy’ and ‘respectful’ way ~ but of course it didn’t happen.

    Perhaps, I always felt that ‘privilege’ as a nun… anyways… Empathy and being sensitive to the people around us is something I’d like to inculcate with the children I teach. I always hope ‘human formation’ and ‘values education’ can still be revived here outside in their curriculum.

    Thank you for this post Corinne. I feel kind of odd going back to reading and commenting to blogs *let me get back into the system* ~ … love you!

  18. I wonder how people are over-aware of their rights and yet surprisingly ignorant of their duties, after all both are two sides of the same coin, life is all about give and take, not crib and grab.

  19. Thought-provoking post!
    Too many people these days have a great sense of entitlement. Each one of us should prevent such people from trampling over us and others. Equally importantly, we should ensure that we do not develop a sense of entitlement.

  20. Hi Corinne,

    Loved reading your post because I can SO relate to it! And you have nailed it where you ask: “What makes people feel this way? I think it’s pretty simple. It’s a basic lack of empathy towards others. When life becomes all about ourselves and our needs, then the feelings of others get trampled upon.”

    I see this especially among parents who send their kids to elite schools. It makes me wonder what their kids will grow to be like when they demonstrate such behavior.

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