My theme for this year’s Blogging from A to Z April Challenge is Marriage from A to Z in 55 Words. G is for Giving in Marriage!
“Honey, I have to hang out with my buddies for an important league match tonight”
“Of course, you must not miss that”, she told him sweetly.
After all, she is a cool wife who encourages her husband to bond with his male friends.
She kissed him a goodbye…
…then wallowed on the couch, and cried.
A Word to the Wise
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98 Responses
Why did she wallow and cry? It’s okay for the husband to hang out with his friends for a while. Entirely okay 🙂
May be that was her irrational self who didn’t like to the idea of husband hanging out with friends that day, despite consenting to it 😉
Giving each other space is good, but they should be considerate, right?
Yes, there should be a healthy respect for each other’s space, some alone time…
I’m all for spouses investing in each other’s happiness. I worry about this “cool wife” who is giving so much that it seems like her own lamp will run out of oil. I’d really like to see what happens when he gets back home. But that’s another 55 words. 🙂
Another though provoking post, Shilpa. Well done!
LuAnn Braley
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Or may be she will learn to take this as an opportunity to spend doing things which she loves!! Now, you have given me an idea, LuAnn! 😉 Thank you 🙂
We need to give each other space to be ourselves too…I think it grows with time…Initially I would not like it so much but now I think I’ve grown up 😀
Agree, this is another thing that we learn with passage of time in the relationship. Happy that you realized it too, Nabanita 🙂
Awww! She shouldn’t have cried!!
she should be spending the evening with her friends then. or maybe tell her husband how she really feels abt it all?
Communication is key na?
Hmmm… she should certainly share what’s on her mind! 🙂
Nice post on relationship. The wife needs to see the message below and be wiser :-).
Oh yes, she will learn from it, sooner or later 😀
We both have our own interests – having fun with our own friends is important, and gives us something else to talk about! The more you do, the more interesting you become! At least, that is the theory…
~Liz A-Zer http://www.lizbrownleepoet.com ~Animal poems and facts, and info about my assistance dog!
You are spot on Liz. Even as a couple, we are still two individuals and to grow as a couple, we must also be permitted to grow as an individual. So the ‘Me Time’ is very important 🙂
I think she cries because sometimes we know realistically we should give each other space to grow, but we hope our partners won’t want this space and fear that their wanting the time shows they don’t love us enough. Or maybe, she doesn’t have a social life outside of him so she cries from loneliness when he’s gone, though she knows she should also cultivate friendships and a social life away from him.
I love the way you thought about her! I think that could be the reason for her crying! Thanks for sharing your mature and so relevant point of view. Appreciate it, Damaria 🙂 ♥
Hiding her inner feelings …I liked the way she managed the circumstance ….sometimes we just have to do that in spite of our feelings .
Yes, we do that sometimes! 🙂
So true shipa, we often forget to give our partner the space we think we do give !
Agree, but it is so vital for any relationship!
That gives her some Me-time. Why cry ? 🙂
May be it’s her insecurity!! 🙂
If she didn’t want him to go, she should have spoken up! It always makes me sad to see relationships fail because of a lack of communication. How can a spouse give you what you need if you don’t know what you need or aren’t comfortable enough speaking up about what you need?
Oh yes, communication is the key!! Thanks for sharing your POV, AK 🙂
She is not a cool wife, she is in fact the timid type posing as a cool one. Maybe she does not get the same space when she wants that. To give space to each other is the best thing in a relationship between couples to grow more stronger.
However, it can work only if both are willing to give it freely to each other.
I like the way you think, Rama! 🙂 ♥
I felt sad that she cried 😉 Instead she should take it as a well deservd ‘Me-Time’. But here again, I love the way you’ve left it open for interpretation, because her tears might have many reasons. I can comprehend that fully.
Thank you so much Sreeja, for sharing that! Yes, it is again an open ended story. I am experimenting with them… brings out such diverse thoughts and views. 🙂
I think it really helps me and my husband to be apart so much. He is usually gone 3-6 weeks at a time, plenty of time for each of us to have our own time. When he comes home it is time to finally be together. Even then, he takes time to putter around the garage, race his rc trucks with our son in the backyard and do guy stuff. Give and take makes a relationship a success. ♥
I like the fact that this work related ‘giving space’ to each other had matured and strengthened your relationship, Kathy! ♥
No need for her to cry. She can also meet her friends on a regular basis. My wife goes out for their monthly “girls night out” on the last Thursday every month. I stay home. Nothing wrong with that.
Very true, in fact she should do just that, but guess, she hasn’t realized that as yet!
She needs to grow up! 🙂
There is nothing I hate more than false generosity… It’s not giving, it’s martyrdom and manipulation…
There is nothing cool about lack of communication between friends and lovers. She is dishonest and he is being set up to fail.
I like this passionate voice of yours, Ida! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Love it 🙂 ♥
Agree, with that completely 😀
It’s a natural feeling for her to cry, at least intially. Once she matures and realises that clinging is not loving, she will learn to let go, with confidence and love.
Beautiful , Shilpa.
This is exactly what I had in mind too. Love that we thought the same on this one. Thanks Shailaja 🙂
we need to learn to accommodate each other’s liking &interests….and if there is a problem doing that we need to sit down and talk rather than holding a grudge…..that’s how I feel
Absolutely! You are spot on! 🙂
giving space is important, but if the wife is not ok with being left out alone, she shouldn’t be thinking something and saying something else….men seldom understand that women mean no when they say yes….!!
LOL @ “men seldom understand that women mean no when they say yes” Yes, it’s true. Have you seen Vidya Balan and Farhan starrer, Shaadi Ke Side Effects? There was a dialogue to this effect in the movie. 😀
Sad… Many wives are like that!!! My sister is super cool… she chases her hubby away and we both end up watching hindi late night soap operas, movies, making maggi, drinking cold coffee, playing uno!!! Maybe the wife in the story didn’t have kid sis like me 😛 😀
LOL 😀 I like your sister’s strategy! Yes may be, the last part is true too 😀
Just as Sreeja said, yeah, why did she cry? It’s totally okay for him to hang out with friends. I’m a wifey who supports that. 😛 I also will get some Me-time 😛 😛
Shalzzz|Loving Life
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So that makes you a very sensible and a mature wife, Shalini! 🙂
Why did she wallow and cry?
Did she say “Of course, you must not miss that” sarcastically?
Hahaha… I like your interpretation, PI 😀
This post reminded me of Kahlil Gibran’s verses on marriage…
Another nice post touching upon a very important aspect of all relationships….individual space. Very well done!
Thanks a lot, Beloo. Glad you liked it! 🙂
Well I think she shouldn’t cry in the first place. But if she feels that way there is nothing a good talk can’t resolve. Each if the spouses must let the other know their perceptions!
Very true!! They must voice out their concerns and apprehensions, if any! 🙂
Aww… why didn’t she call her own friends and have a ball? Or she’d have told him how she felt.. maybe he’d have stayed back.
May be she’d do just that eventually! 😉
Although I agree that giving each other space in marriage is necessary, the space should not extend to that extent where the couple cannot even feel the presence of the other in his/her life 😐
Oh, that’s creating spaces rather than giving spaces! 😐
v true shilpa…. we hv to remember its perfectly k to have our own spaces , our own identities even after marriage
Well said, Meena! Like as I said earlier, even as a couple, we are still two individuals and to grow as a couple, we must also be permitted to grow as an individual.
Thats nicely expressed and hope all those believing in Give and take got it 😉
🙂
I felt bad reading that cry part 🙁
giving and taking is needed but at times compromising and reading the mind too I guess
Thanks for adding another dimension of ‘compromising and reading the mind’ to the discussion, Afshan 🙂
Giving space is fine but too much space makes you lose touch with each other. She should have gone out with her friends or invited them over for a girl bonding session.
Too much of everything is bad and it will have the same impact on a marriage too! I am sure she would learn to do that, sooner or later 🙂
I would have called all my girlfriends and enjoyed the time 😉
Me too 🙂
very well written, Shilpa on the bond shared between husband and wife. I believe that partners need to give each other space. It leads the way for a healthy relationship:)
You are absolutely right, Vishal. Having some “Me Time” is important for both the partners!
I agree that we all need to have our own space. If I was in a relationship and didn’t have a LOT of my own space, I’d go nuts. 😉
Probably best I’m single … ha.
I can relate to that, Trisha 🙂
Why wallow and cry? She should make some plans of her own with her friends. As others have said, people in a relationship still need their space. Too much togetherness can be smothering. 🙂 Well written though.
True, like they say, nothing grows without space and air!
Glad you liked this attempt, Debbie 🙂
why the crying? did she feel sad that he chose to spend tym wid frnz instead of her??
May be, Swathi. You may like to read Damaria thoughts above! 🙂
Aaaa – nice write -up Shilpa… but that lady… Hm – she should have danced out to have a girls night out with her friends instead, I think- perfect opportunity:-) So to give and take from both sides, and then both are happy and no one will cry:-) The End. He he 🙂
May be it was her insecurity that made her cry! But am sure she will learn with time. Thanks Eli 🙂
Arre.. what to cry, its just a game, what is the big deal… 😀
Hahaha… yeah, just a game. Men and their fixation for games 😀
God!!!! Shilpa, this is the story of my friends!!!! 😯
While I am sad for your friends but I am kind of glad that my story has a slice of real life 🙂
Ah! If only he would have asked her what she wanted to do…Her crying shows it’s been quite a while!
As always well written! Nice work Shilpa!
I liked your perspective, Danny. You think it’s been happening for a while?! Very interesting 🙂 Thank you so much, you are too generous, Danny! 🙂
A little space fosters a healthier relationship, we all need “me time”. With a little bit of planning, both husband and wife can schedule something that interests them individually and have fun without the other having to tag along forcibly or mope in silence. the sadness here might be because he told her at the nth moment.
“The sadness here might be because he told her at the nth moment”… very much feasible. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this 55er, Reshma. 🙂
Poor she! I believe she was expecting something from him which he didn’t even realize…moving post
That’s also possible! Men can sometimes be insensitive to the wife’s thoughts/needs. Thanks Sheela 🙂
It definitely happens initially….
Bit with time….both realize that evert relatinship needs space to grow and flourish
I guess, she needs to voice her opinion and communicate her fears with him…that should make her cooler…don’t you think?
Hmm!! I too am wondering why she cried! I would have loved to sit in my bathrobe with my feet up, eating Maggi and reading my book!! 😆
I am surprised why did she behave in such a manner!
Hmm that is giving? I would not be happy with my friends if I knew my wife bade me good times with a heavy heart.
Agree….agree…..100%. One of the reason most marriages break is because there is not enough space to nurture the relationship. Each one has to have some “ME” time.
Love the way, you are focusing on the tiny but important emotions in a relationship.
Great going shilpa:)
Silly girl. Eventually she’ll come to value those peaceful “me” moments.
It is true,it is all about give and take.
Have you ever wondered as to why it is she who always gives without expecting anything in return?
Never found an answer to this..Hoping Divine intervention one day
Poor thing…she needs to learn to communicate honestly with him!
Open and honest communication is crucial…wish she had spoken her mind. And in any case, when he is off with his friends, it should also be an opportunity for her to get together with her friends…
Personal space for each and everyone is important. It helps the relationship breath easily.